


My Prince

by WrecklessImagine



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Concubine, F/M, Fantasy, Love, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 22:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5433656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrecklessImagine/pseuds/WrecklessImagine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Loki takes the most powerful being in the universe as his concubine?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Concubine

Concubine.

That’s what they call you.

His _concubine_.

Gazing out over the starlit sky, your hair bellowing around your shoulders, thick and curly as it flutters around your face, you stare off into the endless abyss, wondering what it would feel like to fall.

Just fall…and keep falling.

Into absolute nothing.

Knock, knock.

Sighing, your stomach churns the bile within as you soften your voice to call out.

“Come on in, My Prince.”

Hearing your door slink open and shut quietly, the calm is quickly followed by raucous, heavy footsteps striding towards you

You feel a hand twist itself into your hair, your body is whirling around as you gaze for a second into those crystal green eyes.

Biting down on your lip to stop the whimper wanting to explode from your lips, you feel his cold, calculating lips press into your mouth, his tongue jamming its way through your mute isolation as it prods its way heavily through the murky depths of your mouth.

Crinkling your nose in disgust, your commander wraps his arms around you, pulling you from your beautiful, mind-washing view and back in to the room, throwing you down on the bed as he hovers above you, his eyes dilated with lust as you watch him silently debate between anger and kindness, gentleness and rough.

It made you want to puke.

“I’ve been thinking about these hips all day long,” he enunciates, a bit of spittle hitting you on your cheek as you try with all of your might to settle the vomit rising in to your throat.

“Say my name,” he seethes in your ear, his hand pawing at you through your nightgown as his hand lands heavily on your breast, playing with your nipple as it stands to attention.

Defector.

Staying silent, his anger takes over.

“I said, ‘Say. My. Name.’“

Your lips tremble as your body screams for the tears to be kept at bay…but you make the mistake of blinking, releasing one small, lonely, glistening tear to trickle its way down your cheek.

Hearing him sigh, he dips his head in to the crook of your neck before scrambling off of you and standing at the foot of the bed with his brow furrowed in confusion.

“I have tried everything to make you comfortable. I have given you your own room. I have given you your own handmaiden. I have had someone take your beautiful measurements to have an incredible wardrobe made exactly to your specifications. I have tried bondage, gentle touches, preparing you bubble baths, rough play, emotionless sex, and even oral stimulation in an effect to find what you enjoy in bed, so that we can both build a trust and enjoy our encounters…and still, I get nothing.”

Lobbing your head off to the side, tears continuing to trickle down on to the soft, shining sheets of your comfortable bed, you open your mouth before you can judge the words coming forth.

“I am sorry, My Prince, that I have been a waste.”

Hearing nothing in response but the door opening and closing to your room, you shut your eyes as you take in a deep breath, remembering the memories of your childhood before everything went so very, very wrong.

The laughter of your mother swinging you in the backyard. The sound of your brother giggling as you chase him around with the water hose. The smell of the baked good that your family would make together during the Christmas months.

Your father always exclaiming how proud he was of you…

The silence in the room was deafening as you clamored off of the bed, wrapping yourself in your silk green robe and striding back out on to your balcony, your eyes looking once again out into the blackened abyss that covers the floating continent out here in a completely different realm.

And as the wind rips against your face, bellowing your sheer white curtains into your empty room, you cast your eyes down upon the entrance to the Bifrost, Mr. Heimdall standing at attention, seemingly moving his body toward you as he gazes up at your nightgown’d form, his eyes locking onto your presence until you take a deep breath and step back into your room, closing the double doors to the balcony behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You awaken the next morning, dressing yourself for breakfast and waiting beside the right entrance door.

After all, Loki always came through the left, and you knew he would want you standing right where you need to be, neither wanting to anger him further nor bleed all over your beautifully-made dress.

You have to admit, being a concubine on Asgard wasn’t the worst job you could have. Yes, you have to sleep occasionally with your enslaver, but in return, you were fed, clothed, given an incredibly opulent room, freedom to roam the castle, and protection.

Protection from your life on Earth.

Midgard is what they called it here.

Your days started to blur together ever since the battle had raged. A battle you had fought endlessly to win, only to succumb after merely 3 days.

Closing your eyes, you could remember the sound of the Asgardian army cresting the hill, Thor’s hammer drawn in a King-like fashion with his brother riding by his side.

You could remember how you felt seeing the hoard coming your direction.

The panic that ebbed within your body.

The look of terror in your brother’s eyes.

You remember how heavy that gun felt in your hands. The way it sounded when you pulled the trigger…the way your friends around you cried as they were pierced with Asgardian spears, the poison seeping their way into their systems, turning their eyes yellow as it shut down every single organ, one by one, until there was nothing left.

You remember how you felt, sobbing onto your dead brother’s stomach as a shackle came down around your neck…

Coming to, your hand massaging your neck involuntarily, you look up at the clock, furrowing your brow as you realize that Loki has not yet made his appearance.

Opening the door and peering out into the hallway, you hesitantly step out, hearing laughter and commotion coming from down the hall in the breakfast room.

Slowly walking down the hallway, you get to the room, hearing Thor’s barreling laughter followed by Loki’s criticism of something he apparently had said.

Peering ever so carefully around the corner, you see Loki, seated at the table beside everyone else, with another woman at his side.

Furrowing your brow, you get out of sight before someone sees you intruding, scurrying back to your room as Loki’s handmaiden calls you from the end of the hallway.

“Miss Y/N!” she says, waving her hand and running to you. “Miss Y/N, I have a message for you from Prince Loki.”

Turning towards her, your face blank as you take the letter from her hands, she curtsies in your presence before trotting off.

Opening the note slowly, your fingers trembling, it simply read this:

You are free to go home.

Looking up from the note, tears in your eyes, you take in the view of your commander, standing just outside of the doorway, leaning against the frame, his gaze stern, but lacking in its original strength

He almost looks…defeated.

It was either this, or Earth, you thought

And…reluctantly…you choose this.


	2. Frigga

The next few days had been a blur. You knew that if you didn’t give yourself over to him…find something that pleased him sexually as well as you…he would discard you like trash, back to Earth where you belonged.

Back to Earth, where your past was searching for you.

Shuddering at the thought, you take a deep breath, catching yourself in the mirror one more time before placing the last bobby-pin in your hair, your bosom hiked to your chin as his jade green shackle closes in on your neck. Your curly locks piled high on the crown of your head, a few light ringlets lining your forehead, distracting from the prominence of your head and urging your gaze to wander down to your sparkling eyes, your hair pulled your gaze ever lower to your ruby red lips.

Clearing your throat, feeling the shackle that was the jade green symbol of your being owned, you take a deep breath as you turn slowly, your green and golden dress bellowing with every step you take.

Slipping in to your heels, you turn towards the door, standing to the right before you realize that he isn’t coming for you.

This time, you would have to go to him.

Opening the door, you see the couples, one by one, filing in to the hallway, wrapping down the corridor, and entering the Great Hall.

It was the engagement ball, where Sif and Thor’s marriage was to be announced to the masses, and you wouldn’t miss your friend’s engagement party, even if it meant being discarded from this world and in to the next.

You were used to being property, anyway.

Sif had become somewhat of a confidant while you were here, helping you cope with the new realm, and the new customs, along with the new way of life…

She even tried to help you cope with the new title.

“The term ‘concubine’ here isn’t what the term ‘concubine’ is on Midgard,” she says, thrusting her sword towards you as you block her shot, your elbow straight up in the air as you balance the heaviness of your sword with the strength of her blow. “It is more of a term used to describe someone who could, ultimately, end up as a wife.”

“So, you’re Thor’s concubine?” you ask, gripping your sword as you swing it towards her, watching her back-flip out of range.

“Good heavens, no.”

“And why do you say that?” you ask, bringing your sword back around, cartwheeling to avoid her immediate counter-attack.

“Because we are engaged.”

“But, before you were engaged, you were his concubine?” you ask, a smirk crossing your lips as you slowly back her in to your verbal corner.

Sighing, she puts her sword down, sweat dripping from her forehead. “It is hard to explain. Here, you are not trash. Not like you explained your situation with Michael on Midgard. Yes, here you are considered property, but property here is protected, and taken care of, not sloshed about and scarred like the ‘precious’ things mere human beings say they hold dear.”

Physically wincing, she steps forward and puts her hand on your shoulder, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

“I am sorry. I did not mean to bring up past grievances.”

“It’s alright,” you say, shaking your head as you try to give her a kind smile. “It’s just hard to let go of...that.”

“Loki…he is, how shall I say it?…different. He is not as outgoing and as boisterous as his brother. He is quiet, well-read, well-versed in the idea of tactics in war…”

“So I’ve been privy to,” you spit, your teeth clenched as the image of your brother’s dead body comes flooding back to your mind.

“Let’s give today a rest, shall we?” Sif asks, her eyes exploring yours as you drop your sword to the side.

“Besides,” she says, coming up and putting her arm within yours, “I would hardly be able to admit that a meager human would have beaten me today in a scuffle should we not.”

And as you had smiled lightly, chuckling to yourself that fine afternoon, you had felt that nagging sensation in the back of your head, begging you to tell someone…anyone…what you truly were.

Maybe then, things might change.

Maybe then, you could be something more than mere property.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking into the ballroom, your gaze sweeps over the floor as you slip in thru the side door, spotting Thor and Sif in the middle of the room. Sif’s hair was adorned with flowers and jewels, and you can't help but smile at the genuine happiness thrust upon your friend's face…the gentle way she looked at Thor as he leaned down and kissed her upon her forehead.

How secretly jealous you were of her.

As a glass clinks softly amidst the dull roar of the room, everyone turns to Loki, who is standing by yet another woman, initiating a time of speech as the crowds gather and soften their rousing conversations.

“I do not wish to take up much of your time, brother dear, for I am eager to get to the dancing,” he says, his eyes shooting to his side and hungrily eyeing the bosom of the maiden beside him. Flushing with embarrassment, you yank a scarf out from under your sleeve and tuck it into your corset as it drapes over your prominent cleavage, giving yourself an heir of recompense as well as modesty.

After all, you didn’t want to throw yourself at him. You just wanted him to allow you to stay.

As the men of the room rouse with laughter, you watch Sif shake her head, a giggle playing at her lips as she tries to bury a smirk.

“All I ask is that our children be best friends, this kingdom be prosperous under your reign, and for Sif to treat you as well as you treat her.”

“Here, here!” the room shouts, holding up their drinks before taking a big, unanimous gulp.

“Hello, there,” a gentle voice says within your ear.

Jumping to the side, your breath hitching in your throat, you smile and curtsy when you realize the Allmother has graced you with her presence.

“Don’t you dare do that in my presence, Miss Y/N,” she scorns, pulling your gaze to meet her eyes with her finger.

Furrowing your brow, you cock your head in confusion, a smile playing lightly on her lips.

“You know, my son thinks the world of you,” she says, turning back to Loki as a sneer quickly crosses your face.

“Yes, Allmother, it looks like it,” you retort sarcastically, resulting in a chuckle from the Queen.

“You shall not call me that either,” she says, eyeing you as she watches your reactions.

“So, you wish me to believe that your son wants me to stay, all the while not wishing me to curtsy or address you as Allmother.”

Watching the Queen nod lightly, you ask, “Then, Miss Frigga, what do you expect me to do?”

Turning towards you, your body imitating hers involuntarily, she takes your face in her hands and kisses your forehead gently.

“Oh, my Angel…”

Hearing that name, you hold your breath, your eyes widening as you begin to wonder who else knows…and, if so…wondering if she was about to banish you from their world forever.

“If you want Loki back at your side, all you need to do is show him who you are.”

Raising your eyes to look in to hers, you swallow hard, the jade green shackle slowly ebbing as the spittle runs down your throat, burning with the embarrassment of a thousand suns.

“You know I cannot do that, Miss Frigga,” you whisper, pleading as she pulls you in to her in a gentle embrace.

“Your 29th birthday is in two months,” she says, her voice more stern. “How do you think he is going to react when you look like this one day, and then something else the next?”

And as you look towards the dance floor, Frigga’s hands moving slowly up and down your back, you see Loki, completely entranced with his big-bosomed dance partner.

Drawing back from her hug, you let out a big sigh, suddenly exhausted from all of the interaction of the evening as you tilt your gaze back up to hers and part your lips.

“I believe, Miss Frigga, he wouldn’t even notice the difference.”


	3. Honor

Exiting the Great Hall, you turn to walk down the hallway, your dress bellowing with every sway of your hips as you hear a familiar voice call out behind you.

“Y/N!”

Turning around, a smile brimming on your cheeks, you watch as your best, and only, friend gallops towards you, her flowers flying off of her head as she steadies her bosom with her hands, running down the hall and jumping into you, her legs wrapping around your waist as you spin her around.

“And just where do you suppose you are off to?” she says, chuckling as you set her down.

“You look absolutely radiant, Sif,” you say, setting her down and taking her hands in yours as you swing them in front of you. “Thor is an incredibly lucky man,” you say, giving her a playful wink.

“I saw Loki…” she says hesitantly, her eyes searching for a reaction that you were trying to bury.

“It’s alright. I wasn’t there for him,” you lied, “I was there for my best friend.”

“It’s an honor, to be considered your best friend.”

Sighing, you recognize that tone of voice.

“How long have you known, Sif?” you ask her.

“Known what?” she says, trying to feign confusion.

“Known about…me,” you say, eyeing her back in a questioning glare.

“Oh, Y/N, do not be mad,” she pleads. “I promise Miss Frigga meant absolutely no harm. She just thought that you could use someone that knew…someone other than herself, with whom you spent your free time.”

“Someone like you,” you say, unable to hold back your smile any longer.

“So you aren’t angry!” she rejoices, throwing her arms around you.

“Not at all. I’m honestly more relieved than I’ve ever felt in quite some time,” you proclaim.

“We have much to talk about. Lunch tomorrow?” she asks, backing away from you as she slowly heads back to the Great Hall.

“Lunch tomorrow,” you confirm, a giggle playing on your tongue as she turns and races back in, quickly straightening herself up before walking gracefully back through the entryway.

Smiling and shaking your head, you turn out towards the nighttime sky, walking towards the balcony. Once again entranced by it’s light and it’s beauty, the waters of Asgard spilling over the edge..falling into the precipice of god-know-where..your eyes widen in wonder as you cast your gaze upon Heimdall and the Bifrost, him and his great staff at the helm of it all.

Walking over to the edge, placing your body weight on the sound marble railing, you raise your hand to wave.

Catching a blast of wind, you gasp as you stumble back in your heels, hitting your back up against a large, solid object.

“Oh, my god!” you breathlessly exclaim, throwing yourself around as you come eye to eye with that infamous medallion in the middle of his chest.

Your breath hitching in your throat, you cast your gaze downward, the words of greeting flying from your mouth before you have a chance to think.

“Good evening, My Prince.”

As silence fills the empty air, you continue with the niceties that you had rehearsed in the mirror for hours on end.

“I hope that I have not disturbed your evening during this time of rejoicing. I only come in peace to enjoy and bless a friend in her newfound journey.”

Feeling his fingertips under your chin, he pulls your gaze up to his, the shackle around your neck stopping your head midway. Watching his torso move, he dips down to meet you the rest of the way, his eyes burrowing into yours.

“You look ravishing tonight, Miss Y/N.”

Trying to quell the air of confusion, you hear him lightly chuckle at your reaction.

“Please forgive me, I was just a bit taken aback when I saw you this evening.”

Bowing your head again, much to his finger’s disapproval, you lace your hands in front of your body as you say, “You shall always be forgiven, My Price, when it pertains to myself.”

Hearing him sigh lightly, you try to detect why the light sound of disapproval was once again heard within his voice.

And you couldn’t hide it any longer. You could no longer be the strong woman that you needed to be…the mysterious woman you had assumed he wanted to chase.

Your lip trembling, and your hands shaking, you reach out for his hand as he turns his back to you, pleading with him to not walk away…to give you one more chance to prove your worth on this planet that has accepted you so fully and completely.

“Just tell me what to do,” you whisper.

Hearing his head turn back to you, you quickly let go of him, crossing your arms across your chest as you shiver, your scarf that was once covering your bosom fluttering off of the balcony.

“…M-My Prince,” you stutter, almost forgetting how to address him, “Just tell me what you need. Anything you need, anything you want, anything you wish…I shall give it to you. I just…I just want to stay…I need to stay,” you finish, your voice barely above a whisper as the skin on your arms and around your neck starts to prickle with the chill of the evening dusk.

“Loki!”

That bubble-gum voice ruptures the moment.

“Aren’t you coming back to the party?” she playfully whimpers, pulling on Loki’s arm as she tries to drag him back to the dancing.

“Woman, you shall know your place!” he bellows, ripping his arm from her as she stands there, wide-eyed and rigid.

“But I thought-”

“You are not here to think,” he hisses, his body fulling turning towards her as you slowly walk backwards, pressing your lower back into the balcony, your eyes widening at his sudden change of demeanor.

“Loki, I-”

“You were nothing but a warm body my father wanted me to attend this ball with,” he spits as you hear his anger swell within his voice.

“Leave me be,” he growls deeply, turning his back on her as she whips around on her heels. You could hear her start down the hallway, stomping with every drop of her foot like a child. Raising your gaze, you saw her stance standing tall as she humphs with every thud of her heels, her nose high and her ball-gown swishing from side to side.

“S-she…she’s not a concubine of yours?” you ask, your voice trembling as you continue to stare after her.

“No,” Loki states. “’Concubine’ is a special place, only reserved for one. A concubine is not just a sexual instrument, but an individual chosen out of many.”

Walking to get into your field of vision, he takes your hand within his as his gaze drops to meet yours.

“A concubine is there to provide emotional needs as well as sexual, exploring interests and providing companionship. A concubine is not just a piece of property, but a way of expressing the feeling of loneliness as well as filling it within the same moment. It is an outward expression of a very basic set of needs that one may feel is not being met. So, in acknowledgement of my loneliness and unfulfilled sexual, as well as mental, needs, I took a concubine. You.”

Taking his finger and once again tilting your head, he crouches down to meet your gaze, “You are not just a play thing. You are a wealth of knowledge waiting to be explored; a tantalizing combination of spirit and humility that is astounding. You are a mystery, and a kind soul, and someone that I was drawn to even amidst the chaos of war.”

As your eyes involuntarily well with tears, Loki draws you in for a hug, wrapping his arms around you as he pulls you close to his chest.

“I know that this is all very overwhelming and different, but you are special, Miss Y/N. And despite how our sexual encounters have played out up until this point, I greatly enjoy your company. Those moments where you have sat in my room, back straight, watching me read my books, listening in with intent as I start to read aloud…accompanying me to lunches and dinners as you tastefully giggle at my jokes…walking with me through the gardens of Asgard as I crave the smell and nourishment of fresh air…it fills a void of loneliness that I have been burdened with for quite some time. A feeling that I no longer wish to feel…”

Searching for a set of words that do not come, you feel Loki’s hand slip down to your lower back, pressing down ever so lightly so as to guide you back down the corridor.

Stopping just short of the entryway into the Grand Hall, you turn to him, your eyes lifting up to meet his.

“As you wish…My prince.”

Watching him grin his devilish smirk, you slowly lower your gaze back to the ground, and as you do, you feel his hand rush to your neck, his fingertips pressing into the sides of it as you jerk your head up, swallowing hard as your spine shivers against his touch.

Defector number two.

“You are Prince Loki’s concubine, and in this castle, that is a place of honor. People in places of honor do not watch the ground like peasants. Hold your head high and be proud to be privileged.”

And as you gaze out along the sea of people gyrating and filling their stomachs with 12 different kinds of booze, Loki takes your hand and guides you to the dance floor, his arm wrapping around your waist as he slides his leg ever so lightly in between yours, guiding you across the dance floor as the people start to stop and stare at Loki’s new…

Loki’s new…

Loki’s new _something_.


	4. Shower

Waking up the next morning, the sun shining brightly through your sheer curtains, warming your face as you open your eyes, you stretch and roll around as you bring your feet to hang off of the side of the bed, a light smile crossing your lips as you gaze upon the note on your bedside chair.

I hear you have lunch plans with Sif. Enjoy your morning, and I will see you at 5 sharp for dinner.

Sighing a gigantic sigh of relief, you trot into the bathroom, humming a tune from last night as you turn the crystal clear water on in the shower. Casting your nightgown off to the side as you step in to the warm relaxing water, a scent of lavender fills the air as you close your eyes, feeling the warmth of the water barrel over your Y/C/S skin as you dip your head under the faucet.

And as the door to your bathroom creaks open, you stop in your tracks, your eyes shooting open whilst your hair becomes drenched.

“It is only me,” Loki says, hearing his clothes drop to the floor as your hands begin to shake.

Watching as the shower door slowly opens toward, you close your eyes and take a deep breath, a weakness plodding in to your bones as you murmur lightly under your breath, feeling a casted facade slowly draping over your body.

“Hello,” he says lowly in to your ear, feeling his fingertips graze your back lightly, his voice sighing from the relief it gives him to touch your bare skin.

“You are so soft,” he mumbles, placing a light kiss on the side of your neck.

You feel your core begin to pulsate as his touch roams your naked torso.

_Defector number three._

“Good morning, My Prince,” you say, a light smile playing on your lips for his enjoyment as you open your eyes, catching a glance at your reflection in the mirror, sighing in relief as you realize it had worked.

Your spell, while draining you physically, worked despite the shackle around your neck.

You had found that Loki’s shackle blocked most, if not all, of the magic you were able to produce, and while he did not know that you were not human, he also did not know that, if enough caloric energy was expended, you could get around it.

For a time.

You just prayed that he didn’t sense it.

“It’s nice for you to enjoy my touch, for once,” he says, smiling lightly as he dips down, his head resting in the crook of your neck as he pushes his naked chest flush against your back.

You felt his muscles rippling against you, shocking even your inner-most self when you found your body heating up more with every move he made against you.

“Ahhh,” he says, realization finally wafting over his body.

“Romance,” he mumbles in to your ear.

Finding yourself swallowing audibly, he chuckles deviously into your ear, kissing it ever so lightly before turning you around.

Standing back, your naked form vulnerable to his eyes, a smile plays upon his cheeks as you eyes gaze upon his muscular form, your eyes slowly traveling over every line and vein protruding from his body.

“You are just as breath-taking as I had dreamt you might be,” he breathes, catching your gaze stopping at his genitals.

As he smirks, you clear your throat and cast your gaze back down to your feet, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks as the water continues to flow over your shoulders, trickling down your breasts and falling off of your nipples, erect and sensitive.

“It is nice to know that the sentiment is reciprocated,” he muses, smiling devilishly as he eyes you carefully.

“I am glad you find me beautiful, My Prince,” you say.

“Do you find yourself beautiful, Miss Y/N?” he asks, taking a step forward and, once again, lifting your gaze.

“We really need to break you of that habit,” he says, chuckling lightly.

It’s hard to break a habit that was beaten in to you so desperately.

“It is not enough that you find me beautiful?” you ask, your eyes throwing themselves up to him, challenging him for the first time since you arrived.

Taking a minute to quell his surprise, his eyes glitter with excitement as he says, “No, it is not.”

Looking back and forth from his eyes to his lips, you find his gaze again as you become yet bolder in your statements.

“Then I guess that’s something you’ll need to change,” you say, once again leaving off “My Prince,” searching his eyes for a reaction.

And a reaction you got.

Feeling his hands on your hips, he rams you into the condensated bathroom wall, sliding you up as he takes your legs and wraps them around your waist, pressing his rock-hard length against your entrance.

“Beauty isn’t just a feeling,” he says, low and barely above a whisper, as his hands running across your breasts, squeezing them lightly.

“Nor is it something I can...thrust upon you,” he says as he bucks his hips, teasing you with his erection.

“Beauty is not the byproduct of an action, or even a verb to put action to something so...uniquely bestowed upon someone.”

Feeling his fingers come up to your chin, he takes his thumb and slowly runs it up and down your cheek, his face getting ever so closer to yours.

“Beauty is something that is found when a respect for yourself is realized. It is a direct response to a trust that is formed between your body and your soul...a trust that dictates a set of rules for which your life abides. A set of rules governing the good and respectable treatment for yourself, as well as what you allow the people around you to do and say in regards to yourself. True beauty...coveted beauty...is found not within the bedroom...or within the arms of another...but within the mirror, when you can look at yourself and smile, not because you are secure in who you are, but because you trust your ability to be kind to yourself.”

Yet again speechless in his presence as his lips lightly linger over yours, fluttering with every spoken word, Loki slowly sets your feet on to the ground, his lips grazing your cheek before he moves to plant a kiss on your forehead, helping you to steady your legs underneath your quivering body.

“I can only help with the outward feeling of beauty,” he whispers, his hands slowly drifting to your lower back, cupping your ass as he groans lowly to himself.

“Only you can find your true state of beauty.”

And with that, you heard the shower door open, watching him as he stepped out, grabbing a towel along with his clothes and closing the bathroom door behind him.

Panting, your breath coming in short spurts, you feel a wetness gathering between your legs, his kisses lingering on your body as you slowly step back under the warm stream of water, steaming the room as you stand there, naked and alone, within the confines of those four now-lonely walls.

_Defector number four._


	5. Lunch

Taking a look at yourself in the mirror, finally dropping the spell you had cast earlier to cover up your body, you take a deep breath as relief overcomes you, dropping to your knees as you begin to pant for breath.

You hadn’t realized exactly how much energy was being expended in order to cover your scars.

Picking yourself up off of the floor, you take in your true form in the mirror, your skin slightly paled from the morning of exertion...your sunken in eyes even more prominent with the loss of calories that it took to fool even the greatest of seidrs this morning.

I can’t go to lunch looking this way.

Sighing, you close your eyes and mutter under your breath, sucking in a sharp bout of air as the spell vibrates back up, your body...for a split second...buckling under the exhaustion as you catch yourself on the corner of your vanity.

“Y/N!”

Hearing Sif behind you as she puts her arms up under yours, she steadies you to your feet as she looks at you with concerned eyes.

“Are you alright?” she asks, her eyes searching yours.

“I forgot to eat breakfast,” you lie, rolling your eyes as you try to brush it off.

“Well, then let us feast on a big lunch!” Sif exclaims, holding her arms out to you to aid in the steadying of your body, “After all, I have many questions.”

“As long as I am returned to get ready and accompany Loki to dinner at 5, you can have me as long as you wish,” you say, smiling at her as she flashes you a happily surprised shock.

“So you are staying after all!” she exclaims, excitement in her voice as the two of you start down the hall.

“Yep, you’re stuck with me for a little while longer,” you say, winking playfully at her as you turn the corner in to the eating quarters, your mouth salivating with the smells of chilled fruits and warmed sandwiches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, how much of the stories are true?” Sif asks with a mouthful of cucumber sandwich.

“How about you break down the story and I will confirm or deny,” you say, your eyes widening as a light chuckle escapes your lips at the abrupt start to the conversation.

“Alright. Well, is it true that, since your family has been taken from you, that you will transform in a couple of months on your 29th birthday?”

Nodding your head as you take a sip of cider, Sif asks the all-looming question: “Does Loki know?”

Casting your gaze downward, you swallow hard, your eyes giving away your answer as Sif reaches out and grabs your hand.

“You need to tell him,” she implores.

“He will get rid of me if he finds out,” you whimper.

“He will find out either way. It is best if it comes from you, my friend.”

“That’s what Mrs. Frigga said...”

After a brief moment of silence, Sif continues to throw questions your way.

“So, how many guardians are there exactly?”

“9 for each of the realms, and then 1 that overlooks them all. Each guardian has a particular color that defines them, so to speak. Like Thor with his red and Loki with his green. The guardian that overlooks them all...that one is white,” you finish, your gaze thrown behind Sif as another chef brings out a plate of fruits.

“So, which are you?” she asks as she grabs an apple.

Sighing as you close your eyes, you pinch the bridge of your nose as she squeals.

“You’re white!?”

“Sif!” you whisper harshly, picking up a roll as you toss it at her face, “Keep it down,” you mutter between clenched teeth.

“Y/N, you are the most powerful being in the galaxy,” she emphasizes, leaning forward on her hands as if whispering you a secret.

“Yeah, thanks for the reminder,” you mutter, leaning back in your chair as you pop a cherry into your mouth.

“Has there ever been a woman guardian? All of the stories reference men,” Sif inquires as she picks at a slice of watermelon.

“No. I will be the first,” you admit.

As Sif shakes her head and laughs incredulously, a smile plays across your cheeks as the realization of your life finally sinks in. “It’s a bit...much...isn’t it?”

“Yes. Yes it is,” Sif concurs, her giggles growing into laughter.

“Oh, my god...Sif, stop!” you yelp, holding your stomach as you lean over and put your forehead to the table.

“It’s just so outlandish!” Sif yells, her body curling in to itself as the laughter starts to hurt her abs.

“Little ol’ me!” you exclaim, lobbing back into your chair as your guffawing gives way to silent laughter.

“Oh, my stomach!” she roars.

“Oh, god,” you breathe, tears streaming down your face, both from hilarity and fear.

Wiping your tears away as the laughter finally dies down, your reddened face of hilarity finally gives way to a pale face of uncertainty.

"The story about the fighter...is it true?”

You had a feeling she would hone in on that part.

“You mean where a warrior is designated to fight alongside a guardian in glorious battle until the day that guardian passes?” you ask mockingly, rolling your eyes as you flop back into your seat and cross your legs.

“Yes,” you say as you watch Sif’s eyes light up, “But there is a detail of that story that is left out.”

“Oh?” Sif asks, her eyebrows raised.

“Yes. A guardian doesn’t just get a warrior, a guardian can also designate a healer.”

“A healer...” she drifts off.

“Yes. Someone to come in to battle with the guardian and the guardian’s warrior and heal their wounds...and, sometimes, fight for their lives on the battlefield, or during whatever torrential war might be waged at that particular moment in time.”

As a moment of silence once again falls between the two of you, you find yourself wanting to reach for another sandwich, but second-guess yourself by wanting to keep your facade spell a secret...

Even from Sif.

“Well, how does one go about picking a warrior?” Sif asks, her eyes studying you as you raise your gaze to hers.

“It is, first and foremost, based on trust. If a guardian comes to trust someone with their life, then that is usually the first person that is asked. It is not necessary to have the skills to fight before a guardian picks you. Those are given during the warrior’s own transformation,” you say as you take another sip of your drink.

“And...if a particular friend were to, say, express interest in the roll...” she says, drifting off.

“Then it would be much accepted,” you say as a smile crosses your face.

Hearing Sif squeal, she reaches for your hands across the table as your face becomes stern.

“Under one condition,” you say.

“Anything, my friend,” Sif responds.

“You are to be the future Allmother of this kingdom, and an addition like this to a position such as that is not to be taken lightly,” you say, squeezing her hands. “Talk it over with Thor. If Thor is on board, then so am I.”

“As you wish, my friend,” she says, standing up as she helps you to your feet to embrace you in a hug.

“For I will always protect my best friend,” you whisper in to her ear.

“And I, you,” Sif returns the sentiment.

And as you hold her close in the middle of the grand eating quarters, your eyes gaze out at the sun, clocking its position as a sigh emanates from between your lips.

“I must be off to make myself presentable for dinner,” you say, breaking the embrace and taking Sif’s hands in yours.

“Do me a favor? Let me know when you have informed Thor. That will let me know when to talk with Loki. Because once Thor knows...”

“It’s only a matter of time before he says something,” Sif finishes your sentiment.

“Exactly,” you whisper, a weak smile crossing your face as Sif continues to study you.

“You care for him, do you not?” she asks.

“I haven’t quite sorted out how I feel about any of this,” you sigh.

“All I know,” you start, “Is that even as I close my eyes, I thank my stars that I am here, and not there,” you say, nodding out towards the realms.

“Then that is a start,” Sif says, embracing you in one last hug before starting with you back to your room.


	6. Remember When It Rained

Standing at the right side of the door, the door swings open exactly at 5.

Your gaze straight ahead, it slowly lifts to Loki’s face as he enters your room, the corners of his lips turning up into a dark grin as he takes in your dress.

“The color of this dress suits you quite well, Miss Y/N,” he says, his hand slowly drifting out to finger the ruffle that sat between the corseted top and the ball-gowned bottom.

“It is nice to know that you approve, My Prince.”

Watching as his gaze quickly lifts to yours, he takes your hand in his and slowly brings it to his lips, his kiss light on the back as you feel your cheeks involuntarily flush.

Apparently my whole body defects to him.

Watching as his eyes twinkle at your reaction, he offers you his arm.

“I hope that you are hungry,” he states, leading you out in to the hallway, “There is quite a spread this evening.”

“Music to my ears,” you say, your body flooded with relief as a smile crosses your face. “I always wish to keep a lady-like demeanor, and it never ceases to amaze me at how little the choose to eat.”

Hearing Loki chuckle as he stops you both at the entrance to the eating hall, he turns to you and leans down in to your ear as your mouth begins to salivate at the smells wafting in to the hallway.

“A woman with an appetite is not only providing herself with comfort for a man to call home, but is also nourishing her body with great stamina in order to keep up with his pace.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smiling as the third course rumbles through, a plate of cheeses and fruits are set in front of you. 

Up until this point, you both had eaten the both salad and the entree in relative silence, stealing glimpses at one another and grinning like school-children whenever you both would glance up at the same time.

“Tell me a story.”

Lifting your head slowly, a piece of cheese mid-way to your mouth, your eyebrows hike themselves up as you respond breathlessly.

“I beg your pardon, My Prince?”

“I know nothing about you. Tell me a story. From your childhood…or from your school days. Anything.”

Seeing a rare glimpse of pleading in his eyes, you clear your throat and put the cheese to your lips, chewing slowly before reaching for your wine.

“Do you want a positive story, or a negative one?”

Raising your gaze once gain, you watch him ponder in silence as he studies your face.

"Both.”

Nodding lightly, you take a long sip from your wine glass, a waitress coming out from the abyss and refilling your glass.

“My father always told me how proud he was of me,” you start.

Watching as Loki slowly leans back into his chair, his leg crossing over the other, he interlocks his fingers and settles them across his lap.

"He traveled a lot for his work, traveling to all of these different r-"

Catching yourself as your gaze drops to your wine, you swirl it around before taking another sip, Loki's eyebrow crooking in the air as you make a mental note not to lose yourself completely in this dinner.

"Different regions of the planet...we call them countries," you say, bringing your gaze back up to his as he silently studies you.

"And in my childhood room I had this shelf full of the knick knacks he would bring back from all of the countries he had visited."

"Knick knacks?" Loki questions.

Furrowing your brow, you reach for a bunch of grapes as you say, "Trinkets?"

"Ah, yes. I bet there were many," he states, a light smile slowly casting his confusion aside.

"My shelves were full by the time he-"

Stopping again as you feel your throat begin to constrict, you blink a few times before taking a ragged breath and raising your head again.

"I always looked forward to his gifts. He would bring them wrapped in beautiful paper, and I was always so careful to take the paper off...trying desperately not to rip it."

Loki sits and listens intently as you lose yourself in the story, your eyes lighting up as your stoic eyes give way to light crows feet, indicating true smiles and real laughs.

"And he would always encourage me to rip it up...he was always so anxious to see my expression...but I would ignore his requests and take my time, savoring the sound and the feel of the paper."

Chuckling lightly, you look down at your hands, involuntarily wringing them as the emotion comes flooding back.

"They were always so beautiful," you whisper, your breath cracking as a tear escapes your eye.

"Do you miss them?" Loki asks lowly, leaning his body towards the table and letting his elbows rest on the strong wood.

"I miss them both," you choke out, your hands trembling as you attempt to keep what little is left of your composure.

Looking up to grab your wine glass, you realize that Loki is no longer in front of you, causing your brow to furrow.

Feeling the urge to stand up and go apologize for your blatant show of emotion, you feel a warmth encompass your left hand.

Looking over, tears still streaking your cheeks, you see Loki bowed towards you, his torso tilted as his hand sits lightly on top of yours.

Slowly pushing your chair out, he takes your hand as you catch his gaze, holding his eyes within yours as you slowly stand to your feet, walking as he leads you to the middle of the floor.

Pulling you close as his hand graces your waist, he pulls you close as his lips dip down to your ear, your right hand clasped with his left as he supports them both in the air.

"What is your favorite song?" Loki mutters, the two of you swaying to the sound of the wind whipping along the outside banisters.

Furrowing your brow as your face basks in the warmth of his breath, you feel your head slowly leaning in to his cheek.

"Remember When It Rained," you say barely above a whisper.

And as Loki begins to hum its tune every so lightly in your ear, you close your eyes and lose yourself in the swaying of your bodies, his breathy tune filling your soul with the warmth it so desperately desired.


	7. Michael

Sitting in front of the mirror, you command your facade spell to drop once you were sure Loki would no longer require your presence. Feeling your eyes water at your reflection, you sink back into your vanity chair as you stare at the skeletal structure in the mirror.

Your skin was pale, your cheeks were sunken in, your eyes were rimmed with dark, heavy circles, and your overall stature had thinned quite a bit. You had become so enraptured with the dimmed romance of the evening, swaying back and forth against his body, that the two of you hadn’t gotten to the last couple of courses.

You cursed yourself under your breath for allowing your body and mind to get swept away in what was clearly nothing but a ruse to get you comfortable with the more…salacious activities that would soon be required of you.

Sighing as your stomach roars into the silence, you slowly heave your tired body out of the chair and meander over to your bed, hitting your knees and crawling over the mattress before careening your head into your pillows.

You had to do something…you couldn’t continue to keep this charade up, lest it take your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awakening the next morning to the soft sunlight cascading through your porch windows, you slowly roll over as your eyes flutter open.

Your head spinning as you attempt to sit up, you slowly inch your feet off of the bed, catching a glimpse of your weakened, protruding ankles as you slowly rise to your feet.

Seeing a piece of paper slide under your door, you squint your eyes as you slowly walk and bend over, turning it within your hands before opening it up.

I have a grand surprise for you…one you are sure to smile upon. A great miracle as occurred, and I cannot wait to see you smile. Meet us in the throne room at noon.

Feeling a smile involuntarily cross your cheeks, you steal a glimpse outside, sighing in relief as you walk back to your bed, the note fluttering to the floor as you climb back in and close your eyes.

4 more hours to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hesitantly turning towards the door, your hair delicately piled on top of your head as your dress bellows gracefully around your body, you take strides towards the door, standing to the right for a few minutes before making the decision to trek out on your own.

Slowly working your way towards the room of Odin, steadying yourself along the wall, you stop at the door entrance and close your eyes, chanting your mantra once again as you feel your skeletal figure and scars bury themselves underneath your spell.

Rounding the corner in to the room, you see Miss Frigga and Loki smiling at one other, with Odin behind them on the throne.

“Miss Y/N!” Odin bellows, holding his arms out to you as he walks slowly down the stairs, your brow furrowed with great care as he gives you an incredible hug. He holds you for a few seconds, earning a scowl from Loki and a clearing of the throat from the Allmother before letting go and placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Loki has spoken very highly of you. I can say you have been the only concubine he has taken that has fulfilled his needs.”

Swallowing hard as your eyes quickly dark towards Loki, you plaster a smile on your face as you bow to the Allfather, thanking him for his “kind compliment.”

“Come here, son” he beckons, outstretching his hand towards and crooking his hand as Loki as he steps forward.

“Good afternoon, My Prince. I hope that my presence is pleasing to your eyes,” you say.

“You are always a sight,” he says, bringing his hand to cup your face lightly before taking your hand in his.

“I cannot wait any longer,” he says, turning you towards the entrance to the hall as he steps to your side, the palm of his hand steady on the small of your back.

“You told me yesterday over lunch that you had lost your father,” he states, his eyes studying your face.

“No, I did not,” you say flatly, your stomach slowly starting to sink to the floor.

“Well, it was most implied,” Loki says, the gleam in his eye slowly fading.

Meeting his statement with silence, he drops your hand and hesitantly continues.

“Well, I was so wanting for more information about you, but I remembered as to how much of an emotional toll our conversation had taken on you, and I did not want to bring you any more pain…” Loki drifts off , his eyes pleading with you to look at him.

Slowly turning towards him, he smiles at you lightly, continuing with his sentiments, “So I took a little trip to Midgard.”

Blinking rapidly at him, your heart begins to swell.

“And I found someone that had proclaimed to miss you quite a bit.”

Feeling your lips up-tick ever so lightly, the twinkle in Loki’s eye returns as he slowly walks backwards towards the room entrance.

“And he’s here.”

He?

Shaking your head as you furrow your brow, Loki outstretches his arm towards the door.

And as he rounds the corner, his disgusting smile spreading across his face as his towering demeanor comes barreling towards you with outstretched arms, your eyes widen as the bile in your stomach creeps in to your throat, his arms thrown around you as he holds you close, picking you up and spinning you around as his arms squeezed you a bit too tight.

“Y/N! Oh my god, I have missed you so much!” he exclaims, setting you down as your wide eyes stare at him with your jaw agape.

Feeling Loki walk back up behind you, his hand placing itself in between your shoulder blades, you swallow hard as you forcefully slather a smile on your face, your head tilting ever so lightly to look up at Loki…trying so hard to contain the horror you were feeling inside.

“My Prince, this is…this is too much. I cannot accept this generous gift,” you say meekly.

“’My Prince’, huh?” the man says, staring at you with his darkening glance as your stomach flips in on itself, “You gotta clue me in on how you managed that one.”

Looking between him and Loki, Loki’s face now slowly studying Michael’s, Odin comes up behind everyone and thunderously pats him on the back.

“Michael of Midgard! It is wonderful to have you for a visit. I am sure Miss Y/N will want to show you to your room. I bet the two of you have much to talk about.”

“Yes,” Michael says as he turns his gaze slowly towards you, “I believe we do.”


	8. Ignorance

Slowly walking down the hallway with him, your body tense as you feel his gaze penetrating your temple, you round the corner to his room just before feeling his cold, hard grasp on your arm.

Colliding with the wall, your back up against the cold marble, your eyes widen as he puts his hand over your mouth, stifling your scream.

“You thought you could get away from me,” he hisses, his eyes angry and his face close, “But I found you.”

Feeling your hands tremble, you bring them up to his arms, tugging with all your might...which wasn’t much, given your constantly weakening state with your damn facade spell...as he tightens his grip.

More marks to cover up.

“I took me months to try and break you, and here you are, practically salivating as his feet. Well, you’ll figure out soon what happens when you try to get rid of me,” he snarls.

“Now, where’s my room?” he asks, his lips terse.

As your body shakes and your eyes fill with tears, you slowly begin to walk down the hallway as you feel his hand land on your lower back, causing you to choke down your own stomach bile as you round one more corner to a set of gigantic double doors.

“Your room, sir,” you say, curtsying as he smirks at you.

“God, I need to know his secrets,” he shakes his head at you as you watch your tears fall to the ground, listening to the sound of his footsteps retreating into the room before the doors are slammed in your face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You don’t remember how you had gotten back to your room, but when you came to you were standing in the shower, your facade spell lowered as you took in your hesitant reflection in the frosted shower glass.

Prominent cheekbones, sunken in collarbone dips, strong, protruding jaw bone...the list goes on of things you could now see under your skin that weren’t visible before. Your body was thinning out drastically, and the marks around your arms were a stark contrast to the paling tone of color that was once your Y/C/S skin-tone.

You were at a loss. You knew that Loki meant well. After all, you felt quite out of place here in another realm, and all he wanted to do was celebrate your impending birthday with something that would remind you of home.

He just didn’t realize that he was reminding you of all of the reasons why you were so eager to flee in the first place.

Hearing a light knock on your door, you squeeze your eyes shut as your body begins to fill out again, this time having to catch yourself against the glass as the spell becomes physically taxing to fulfill.

“Miss Y/N?”

It was one of the handmaiden’s.

“Yes?” you call out.

“Mr. Michael is wanting a tour of the grounds,” she says sheepishly.

Letting the tears flow free, you turn the shower off and reach out for a towel.

“Tell him to meet me in the garden in 1 hour,” you say.

And with that, she was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking tentatively to the garden, your casual dress flowing around you as it catches the sunlight, your hair down in its curls, you see his tall stature, standing ominously in the garden, looking out at the water falling over the edge and into the nothingness.

“I hear you,” he says, not turning around.

It was disconcerting to you, how similar they were.

“Hello, Mr. Michael,” you greet him, curtsying as he turns around.

“I don’t really need a tour,” he says as your gaze travels back up to his, “I just wanted you around.”

“Your wish is my command,” you say, trying hard to hold his gaze and stand your ground.

“Uh huh,” he says, walking up to you and tracing your shoulder all the way down your arm, “And what if I wanted...say...an evening with you?”

“I-I-I...I do not know,” you say as Loki rounds the corner.

“What do you not know?” he asks, wrapping his arms behind him and standing tall as he smiles on you both.

“Mr. Michael, I hope you are enjoying your time here with Miss Y/N,” he smiles.

“Yes, I really am. Thank you so much for having me. She has been very missed,” he says, smiling down at you as he wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you close.

“Well, I wanted to personally let you know that whatever plans the two of you make, I shall work around them. I know it means a lot for Y/N to have you here, and I do not want to be the reason she does not get enough time with you.”

Of all the times he could be nice, he chooses this time.

Gritting your teeth as you attempt a smile, you feel his hand droop slowly down to your waist, a painful squeeze soon following as you bite back a yelp.

“So, Y/N,” he emphasizes, “Are you free this evening?” Michael asks.

“Oh, yes,” Loki butts in.

Shut up, you imbecile!

“I relinquish her until her birthday,” he says as his eyes gleam, “She is all yours.”

As they both look at you, Loki with blissful ignorance and Michael with a predator’s eye, you feel the familiar pinch again as Michael says, “Aren’t you going to thank him, Y/N?”

And as Loki slowly shifts his gaze to him, giving Michael a curious look, you glance from man to man as you bow lightly to Loki and say, “Thank you, My Prince.”


	9. Revealed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A light violence warning in this chapter.

The next week was a whirlwind of mind games. You had seen almost none of Loki or Sif, and it seemed as though everywhere you turned, he was there, and while he hadn’t yet raised his hand, you knew that it was coming.

It was only a matter of time.

With only 6 more days to go before your birthday, you still had yet to tell Loki about Michael or your family. You had dug your hole so deep and so wide that you couldn’t see the sides, much less the sunshine at the top, any longer.

At least…that’s how you felt.

As you stared at yourself in the full-length mirror, your rib cage protruding and your wrist joints bared for all to see, you dip your face in your hands as you sob wildly.

You sob for your present circumstances….the feeling of being unable to save yourself from the apparent hell you had somehow slipped in to…you sobbed for your past, for the moments of your life that your family would miss…your marriage, their grandchildren, your triumphant transformation…you sobbed for the uncertainty of your future, and even for the torture of the past few days.

But mostly? You sobbed at the realization that you had come to, knowing that it would nail the last stint into your coffin before you were buried 6 feet under, never to be seen or heard from again.

It was time you came clean to Loki. About everything.

It didn’t matter if he discarded you like trash. It didn’t matter if you beat you in to oblivion. It didn’t even mater if he accepted you and allowed you to take up residence on Asgard permanently.

All that mattered was that you were wasting away, and if you kept on this charade any longer, your death would come before your transformation, leaving the universes helpless and spiraling in constant chaos.

It was time you stopped being such a coward.

So as you close your eyes and mutter the enchantment for the last time, knowing that you would need it in order to slink to Loki’s room without eyebrows being raised, you swing around as you hear your double doors barrel open…your eyes widening as you feel Michael’s grip around your neck, picking you up off of your feet and careening you into the wall.

“You thought you could be protected by telling him!?” he roars as he throws you up against your vanity.

“You thought that your pathetic little friend telling him about our past would somehow save you from me!? That I somehow wouldn’t find out about it!?” he yells, wrenching you up by your hair and cracking the back of his hand against your cheek.

Sif.

“You stupid, ugly, worthless piece of garbage,” he roars, spitting on your face before wrapping his hands around your neck as the spell finally makes it to your feet, filling out your body as he bangs your head into the bed post, causing you to stumble back and fall onto your ass.

The world was spinning now.

Throwing your head over and heaving on to the floor, you hear Michael scoff as he kicks you in your stomach, sending you choking on your own vomit as you fall off to your side, coughing and gurgling as you hear Sif down the hallway.

“Guards, you take her room. Loki, Thor, and I will search the gardens. Go!”

As Michael grumbles incoherent statements, he picks you up by your nightgown, the last of the vomit pouring helplessly out of your mouth as he tosses you onto the bed, hiking his pants down as you hear multiple sets of doors being thrown open down the hallway.

“Let me give you a nice reminder of what your purpose really is,” he seethes into your ear as you feel his hand hike up your nightgown.

You couldn’t yell, you couldn’t fight…you couldn’t even cry. Your head hurt and your jaw wouldn’t move and your body was limp from the lack of strength that your facade had robbed you of.

All you had wanted was to be perfect for Loki…for him to see you as the beautiful character you wished with all your might that you were.

And in that effort, you had destroyed his world.

And in your eyes, whatever consequence became of this situation, you deserved.

Feeling him wrap his hand around your throat, clenching down with all of his might, you struggle to breathe as you hear your doors bust open, the guards tackling Michael to the ground with his pants around his ankles as another guard picks you up in his arms, the world slipping into darkness as he yells over his shoulder:

“I’ve got her! Send for the doctor!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Loki and Sif pace the waiting room, the doctor finally emerges, a grim look on his face as he rounds up the party that is waiting for you.

“How is she?” Sif asks, her eyes reddened from her unshed tears.

“Let me see her,” Loki demands, trying to walk past the doctor as the doctor puts his hand on Loki’s chest.

“What you see when you go in there, is not what you have seen for the past few weeks. I do not know how she managed it, but she refuses to answer any of my questions until she speaks with you first,” the doctor says.

“Then get out of my way!” Loki thunders past the doctor

As Sif tries to reach out for his arm, Thor grabs her wrist, giving her a look as he shakes his head.

“It is time she finally talks with him. Alone.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Throwing the doors open as he commands the room, he sees you sitting upright in a chair, your nightgown tattered at the bottom as your hands sit neatly in your lap, your gaze locked on the nighttime sky as Loki steadily approaches you.

Taking in your form, your shoulder blades protruding as he can visibly count each divot in your spine, he swallows hard as he pauses, his eyes locked on to your wild hair as he finally finds his voice to speak.

“Miss Y/N…” he says, reaching out his hand and tracing the outline of your protruding shoulder blades with his fingers as you jump as his sudden touch.

“My Prince, you startled me,” you say, putting your hand over your heart as he comes around to face you, his brow furrowing and his eyes widening as he crouches down and takes in your skeletal figure, his fingers tracing your wrist bone as he looks you up and down.

“What…?”

As Loki finds himself at a loss for words, you slowly raise your gaze to meet his, bringing your hand to cup his face, chuckling astoundingly as you shake your head at him.

“You have looked upon me many a way, My Prince…but this? This I have never seen.”

“What has happened to you?” he asks lowly.

Sighing, the tears well in your eyes as your hands start to tremble.

“I tried to hide from you…and I am so very sorry, My Prince,” you say meekly.

“Drop the act, Y/N,” he says in a commanding tone, causing you to jump ever to lightly, “Talk to me,” he pleads as he gets up and sits next to you, his hands holding yours as he searches your eyes.

“Explaining the way I look raises more questions than it answers, so just try to listen. And if, at the end, you find it fit to send me elsewhere, I will understand. In fact, I have prepared for such,” you say, taking a ragged breath as you cast your eyes down to your hands, Loki’s finger’s slowly outstretching for yours.

And as Loki stares at you, his eyes wild as his face eager, you take his strong hand in your feeble one and look upwards to his face.

“It all starts when I decided to be perfect for you…”


	10. Act Like It

As you begin to explain to him the way you got around his shackle, able to cast the spell to cover up the scars that Michael had subjected you to long ago, you talk about the caloric drain and how you fought to find the middle ground between keeping a lady-like demeanor and getting the sustenance you needed.

“Obviously, I didn’t find that balance,” you say, scoffing as you shake your head and look down in to your lap.

Pausing as you watch Loki’s hand lift from his lap, you feel him trace the part of your back that is bare, fingering each and every scar that Michael had inflicted.

Clearing your throat, you look down at your hands as you proceed, “And then when Michael appeared in the throne room, your father was so welcoming, and you were so proud of yourself, and I didn’t want to be rude because that is not my place, so I let it slide, thinking that while he would play mind-games, he wouldn’t actually attempt to lay a hand on me.”

“Until Sif intervened…” Loki trails off, his gaze still on your back as he slowly pulls the back of your nightgown out, his free hand balling in to a fist as he gazes upon yet more scars cascading down your weakened back.

Nodding slowly, Loki turns his attention back to you as he asks the question that has been weighing down on his mind since you started your story.

“It takes a great amount of practice and strength to overpower that shackle, Miss Y/N…”

Feeling your lips purse, you blink away tears as Loki’s voice lowers.

“You are not human, are you?”

Shaking your head slowly as the tears fall down your cheeks, Loki brings his hand out and rubs your fragile back, the warmth of his touch reassuring your hesitant mind.

“What are you?” he pleads.

“Loki…”

“Please, Y/N,” he says, removing his hand from your back as he takes your hands within his, “Please tell me.”

Taking a deep breath, your entire body shaking with nerves, you look up at him and say, “I am a guardian.”

Watching as his face slowly drops, he slowly removes his hands from yours as his eyes widen.

“You are…a what?” he asks, his tone of voice bewildered.

“A guardian. But…I-I-I…I’m not just one of the guardians…” you trail off.

“Oh, good Jotuns,” Loki breathes, shooting up from his chair as he runs his fingers through his hair, his gaze darting all over the room, but never quite falling back to you.

“…I’m the Guardian,” you finish, your voice barely above a whisper as tears cascade down your cheek.

“Oh gods,” he groans, his face in his hands as he shakes his head.

“My Prince, please,” you whisper, begging him as you reach out for his hand, your shaking legs trying desperately to carry you towards him.

“No!” he roars, causing Sif to run through the doors with Thor quickly behind her.

His voice was abrasive, and your shock caused you to stumble, hitting your rear on the marble floor as you hiss in pain.

“No,” he whispers, tears cresting his eyes as he looks down at you, “You will never call me that again, do you hear me!?”

As your aching jaw trembles, you plant your hands on the floor, trying desperately to get up…to revive some sort of decency within yourself, instead of being weak and defeated and useless.

“So…so you are the White Guardian…the most powerful being in the galaxy…and…and youu submitted as my concubine!?”

“Yes,” you whisper, feeling Sif’s arms under yours as she helps you up off of the floor, casting Loki a disgusting look as she steadies you to your feet.

“Thank you,” you mouth to her.

“Why!?” Loki throws his arms in the air, distancing himself from you two as he continues to pace.

“Because the other option was Michael,” you breathe, your head sinking into your hands as your back hunches over, your spine rippling out from under your skin as you hear Sif gasp at your sight.

“His father is a police officer on Earth,” you sob, feeling your tears tumble off of your cheeks, “There was nowhere I could run…nowhere I could hide. Wherever I went, he found me.”

“Oh, my dear friend,” Sif says comfortingly, rubbing your face lightly as she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

Watching as Sif reaches out for something, you feel her press a cup to your lips.

“Here. Drink,” she urges as Loki looks upon the spectacle in front of him, his body unable to move.

Hearing Thor attempt to calm Loki down in the other room, you stop drinking when you hear him thunder from the waiting room.

“You mean, all of this time, you both knew about Michael AND her actual form and yet NONE OF YOU FELT INCLINED TO INFORM ME!?!”

“Oh, no,” you groan, taking wobbling, uneasy steps on your feet as Sif takes your arm, ushering you into the other room as your bruises quickly become more prominent.

“It was not our place, Loki,” you hear Thor attempt to explain, “The only reason I found out was because Sif sat me down a-”

“That is enough,” Sif bites off, causing both of the men to turn and look at you, their faces dropping for a second before resuming their fighting stance.

“No! No, I think I deserve to know, do you not agree!?” he roars as he turns his gaze in your direction, his piercing eyes flaring with anger and hurt.

“Why did Sif feel the need to talk with Thor, Miss Y/N?” he spits your name.

“Because I asked her to be my Warrior,” you whisper, your gaze casting down as you close your eyes, waiting for the triumphant war cry of dishonor to come barreling down upon your ears.

As Loki pauses, his eyes wild and his face contorted in hurt and betrayal, he scoffs and says, “And you never once stopped to think that I would be a better fighter than her?” he bites, earning a scowl from Sif as he takes a step closer to you.

Raising your head slowly as you find yourself at a loss for words…and suddenly very afraid…your hands begin to shake again as you slowly take a step back.

“It never occurred to you that maybe I deserve the position more than her..after all I’ve given you?” he inquires, his voice growing once again in volume.

“I gave you a home. I gave you clothes. I gave you nourishment, and romance, and jewelry, and dancing, and wine…”

Hearing him rattle off the list, your chest being to constrict as your sobs escape as whimpers.

“As a concubine, it is your duty to fulfill my sexual needs…yet, have we ever engaged in such a thing?” he asks, his eyes searching for your gaze as he wretches your face up, Sif putting her hand on Loki’s arm to try and get him to back down.

“Did I ever take what wasn’t mine!?” he roars as your eyes widen, your body visibly shaking.

“N-N-…no,” you choke out.

“Loki, that is enough!” Sif yells, finally pushing Loki’s grasp away as she catches your falling body, standing in front of you as she holds you up while you try to get your feet back under you.

“I never wanted to hurt you, Loki,” you plead as tears begin to soak your cheeks again.

“Then what did you want!? Huh!!? What was all of this for!?!” he roars, pushing Sif out of the way as Thor runs to gather her up of of the floor.

“I just wanted to be perfect for you,” you whisper, your teary-eyed gaze staring directly into his chest as your back presses flush against the way, trying to avoid the anger and hurt in his eyes that you have unwillingly caused.

“You are the most powerful being in the galaxy…” he emphasizes, pulling back lightly from you as his voice softens from anger to hurt.

“…and yet you are no better than my Father,” he finishes.

“Loki, please,” you cry out, reaching for his hand as he shakes you off, careening you back onto the marble floor as he spins around, the hurt replacing itself with disgust.

“You are the most powerful woman in the universe…” he reiterates, his teeth gritted in your presence as his jaw tenses.

“Act like it,” he spits as he holds out his hand, your shackle clattering to the ground in 4 pieces as he turns his back on you and walks out the door.

As your whimpers give way to sobs, your chest heaving as it robs you of your words, you hear Loki’s father thunder at him down the hallway, demanding he stop as Sif shoo’s Thor after his brother.

“Oh my god,” you choke out, sobbing into the broken shackle in your hands that had finally been something you wore with pride instead of shame, “What have I done?”

And as you hear Frigga approach you, wrapping a warm shawl around your shoulders, her and Sif help you to your feet as you hold the remnants of your relationship with Loki, broken and lifeless, in the palm of your hands as you clutch them close to your chest…the broken shackle catching your tears as the women escort you back to your room.


	11. Defense

You don’t know how long you had been in your room. You slept, you ate when you felt like it, and you went to the bathroom when absolutely necessary. You don’t know how they actually told time here on Asgard, but you knew your birthday was approaching, and you kept your blinds drawn and the garden absent of your presence.

Sif visited you often, and even Miss Frigga would grace your presence every once in a while, but the one who mattered the most?

He was nowhere to be found.

Your heart ached. You thought back to all of the scenarios you could have done differently: times you could have told him, moments where you could have given in to his needs…

You felt tears rumble down your already soaked cheeks as you hear a hearty knock at the door.

“Miss Y/N?”

Furrowing your brow at the voice, you get up and slowly make your way to the door, wiping your cheeks with your silkened robe before lugging the door open.

“My King,” you say, bowing lowly before he yanks you up by your arm.

“Don’t you dare,” he growls, his face stern but not angry.

“Come with me.”

Pulling you out in to the hallway, you cower away before he turns to you, his face soft and kind.

“It is not until tomorrow,” he beckons with his hand, “The sunlight shall not take you today.”

As your jaw quivers, you put your hand lightly in his, allowing him to escort you down the hallway.

As you round the corner in to the dining hall, you see the faces of all of those you have grown to care about: Sif, with her hand in Thor’s; Miss Frigga, with her back straight and her shoulders strong; Odin, with his hand still in yours; and your handmaiden, her eyes full of worry and her head bowed.

“I know who you are looking for,” Odin says as he breaks the silence, putting his hands on your shoulders and turning you to face him.

“He will come around,” he reassures you, squeezing your shoulders as you nod lightly in defeat.

“I have betrayed him, Allfather,” you choke out, trying to keep your tears at bay.

“No. No you have not, and don’t you dare allow this incident with him to make you feel otherwise. He is good at playing the victim,” Odin hisses under his breath.

“That is not the case!” you rumble, tossing Odin’s hands off of you as he stares at you with wild eyes.

“You lied to him from day one about who he was! Yes, he is technically your son. You raised him! But you allowed him to believe for years that he was your biological son, not telling him that his father was actually the one enemy you had squabbled with and squashed years before, and you allowed him to construct realities about his life around that lie. The only way he found out was that asinine trip to Jotunheim when Thor was still on a roid rage!”

As your eyes grow more wild, you see Sif slowly step away from Thor, her hand reaching for your arm as you continue to defend the only man you have truly come to respect.

“Yes, props to you for saving him from being killed, but that was your choice to take him in! He owes you no more than Thor does!” you yell, your spittle dripping down your chin as Thor steps in.

“I owe my father everything,” he says, his voice steady and calm while your body continues to shake with rage.

“If not for my father and his outrageous ways,” Thor eyes Odin curiously, “I would not be the well-mannered, level-headed soon-to-be King I am currently.”

Standing there, in the middle of the dining hall, trying to catch your breath as the world whirls around you, you find yourself completely out of control as your mouth begins to move, the words flying from your body before you can stop them.

“My Prince in the only person I have ever truly loved. He treated me with a kindness that he has yet to be shown by many of you standing in this very room. He never pushed me to do a single thing I did not want to cave to do of my own free will, and the only reason he is angry is because I did not show him the same kindness, compassion, and honesty that he showed me. He opened up himself to me…broke his sternum, reached in, and pulled out his heart…and wrapped it around my neck in the form of a shackle…”

Gripping your throat as you swallow hard, the tears barreling down your cheeks, you feel a light hand on your back.

“And I betrayed him…just as you had,” you say, pointing a finger into Odin’s chest.

“I told Sif, and I gave her permission to tell Thor. I never once caved and told Loki. I never once mentioned Michael to him…or bared him my scars…because I was more concerned with whether or not he would send me home rather than how he would feel once the truth was unleashed. I was selfish, and this is my punishment.”

Stumbling out of the room, you hear a voice rumble behind you.

“In 24 hours time, you will be the strongest and most powerful entity in this galaxy,” Odin bellows.

“Yeah, thanks for the reality check,” you murmur.

Like father, like son.

“And it is customary for a Guardian to have a home.”

Stopping mid-step, you turn slowly on your heel as your reddened eyes slowly meet Odin’s gaze.

“I, on behalf of this kingdom, offer you a home here with us.”

Feeling your legs begin to shake underneath you, you suck in a shallow breath as your heart begins to swell with emotion.

“If My Prince will have it,” you say, nodding lightly as you turn your body and exit the hall, slowly shuffling down the hallway as your bedroom door comes back in to view.

And as your back turns to the towering banister, Loki steps out from behind it, his invisible shield lowering…and as he watches your tired, haggard body walk away, he wipes the tears from his eyes as he shakes his head, leaning his body up against the banister as his gaze drifts to the outside, his heart swelling with pride at every word spoken in his defense against his father that you had uttered.

“She loves you, you know,” Thor says behind him, causing him to jump in his spot.

“I know,” he says lowly, his gaze unwavering.

“She belongs here,” Sif says, stepping up beside Thor.

“I know,” he whispers, his head lobbing off in the direction of your bedroom door, watching you slowly close your door behind you.

“Then let it be known, brother,” Thor says as he puts his hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Let what be known?” he tiredly spits.

“That you love her the same,” Sif says gently as tears slowly rise in Loki’s eyes.


	12. Birthday Entrance

You awaken the next morning to an unfamiliar churning within your stomach.

Closing your eyes as you sit up in bed, you sigh as you put your head in your hands.

29 years old.

Slowly scooting your feet to the floor, you stand up and bring yourself to your mirror, pulling at the bags under your eyes as you assess your current physical state.

Pathetic.

Sighing as you turn away from the mirror, you hear a light knock at the door before it slowly opens.

“Miss Y/N?” your handmaiden says.

“Yes?” you call out.

“There is an invitation for you,” she says, holding out a small white envelope.

Slowly shuffling over, you flip the light on as you take it from her hands.

“Thank you,” you say as she bows and shuts the door behind you.

Slowly turning the letter in your fingers, you open its seal and pull the single sheet of paper from its confines.

You are cordially invited to attend Miss Angel’s 29th birthday dinner. Food, drinks, and dancing to be had. Come dressed to attend one of the most prestigious events of the Asgardian calendar.

Sighing as you hold your head in your hand, you groan as the letter flutters to the floor.

Knock knock knock.

“Y/N?”

Sif.

Smiling lightly as you open the door, your friend stands there with a cake in hand, smiling broadly as she begins to sing awfully off-key.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!” 

Holding up your hand as the laughter rumbles through your body, you bend over as she laughs with you, scooting by you and sitting down on your bed, pulling two forks from the pouch on her side as she pats the bed next to you.

Sitting down beside her, you take a fork and begin to eat, the cake and icing melting in your mouth with every chew you make. 

Rolling your eyes in the back of your head, Sif smiles with a mouthful as she swallows it down. 

“It is time you stopped grieving,” she says. 

“I know…” you drift off. 

“Eventually you will have to step out in to the sun,” she urges. 

“Happy Birthday to me,” you retort sarcastically before taking another bite.

Setting the cake down, she wipes her hands off on her legs before turning her body to you. 

“You have had your time for self pity and recuperation. Now, it is time to take your rightful place in this universe.” 

“I never asked for this, Sif,” you say weakly, tossing your fork onto the bed, “I never asked to be a guardian. I never asked for the universe to bow at my feet. I never asked for all of this power,” you whimper.

“All I asked was to be loved,” you whisper.

“And you are,” she reassures you, putting her hand on your arm as you slump back down on to the bed, “But whether you like it or not, your time is upon us. This universe has been without guidance for a great deal longer than it should have been, and you are the remedy it needs.” 

“I wanted Loki to be my healer…” you choke out through tears, closing your eyes as you try to conjure his face in your mind.

“I know,” Sif lulls, rubbing your back as you sigh heavily, “And maybe he will come around. Whether you believe me or not, I am here by your side. Forever.” 

“You better be,” you eye her playfully, wiping your face with yours hands, “You’re my Warrior.” 

“At least we are on the same page in that regard,” she smiles, getting up and crossing the room. 

“Now, clean yourself up and start getting ready. The festivities will begin around 5 this evening.” 

“Sif…it’s 11 am,” you say incredulously. 

“And that is why this self-pity party is over,” she says as she eyes you wearily.

“Why?” you ask hesitantly. 

“Because it is 2 in the afternoon, Angel,” she says.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel.

Hearing Sif call you that was still so…ominous. 

Traditionally, when a guardian takes his rightful place, he leaves behind his birth name and takes his father’s name as guardian. 

But calling you by your father’s name was absurd. 

But, you also didn’t care for your mother’s name either.

So, you decided to take on her nickname…the name everyone called her ever since she was a little girl…the name by which she was always introduced. 

Angel. 

Taking a ragged breath as you look over at your wardrobe, you notice the incredible dominance of green as your eyes start to water…your gaze flittering down towards the broken shackle that still lays helplessly on your vanity. 

And just before you had decided to give up on the party, a light rapping comes at your door. 

“Come in,” you sigh as you stand to your feet, your half-length slip tumbling to your knees as you stand. 

Watching as the door doesn’t open, you furrow your brow as you walk towards the door, slowly opening it as you stick your head out in to the hallway. 

“Hello?” you call out. 

Confusion covering your face, you go to close the door as a glimmer of light catches your eye. 

Looking around at the front of the other door, you gawk at the sight of the gorgeous dress. 

Walking out and standing in front of it, not caring who sees you in your undergarments, you finger the lacy fabric cast softly over the white silk as the dress, adorned with sequins and decoration, is made to fit your form exactly, the corseted bodice giving way not to a ball gown, but to a flowing sea of miniature pearls and lace. 

Your mouth agape as you remove it from its hanger, you rub the material between your fingers, your eyes watering at the beauty of it’s presence.

Walking back inside your room as you kick your door shut, you slowly walk back to your vanity, calling for your handmaiden as she unlaces the corset, allowing you to step in while she affixes the dress to your body. 

“Do you know who sent for this?” you ask, your eyes wide as you twirl in the mirror. 

Not saying a word, she holds out a letter to you, giving you a light smile before she leaves. 

Watching as your hands tremble, you carefully open yet another letter as you side it out of it’s envelope.

Angel,

May this dress give you the confidence and strength you need for the road ahead. 

All my love,

Frigga

Clutching the note to your chest, you send up not a silent “thank you,” but a silent apology, for as you read the letter, you heart sinks at the revelation that Loki is, once again, still absent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smoothing out your dress one last time, you hear your door crack open as your handmaiden sticks her head in. 

“Your escort to the party is here,” your handmaiden says.

Turning around, an air of confusion migrating across your face, you watch as Odin slowly appears at your door. 

“My wife told me the dress was beautiful,” he says as he takes a deep breath, shaking his head, “…but the word does not do it justice on you.”

Crossing the room as you smile at him, you watch as he takes your hands in his, squeezing lightly as he sighs.

“Forgive me, Angel,” he says, his face contorted with pain, “I did not know about Michael…or about your feelings toward this entire situation that has careened out of control. Had I known, his trip would have taken a very different course, and yesterday would have had a very different purpose.” 

Squeezing his hands back, you look at him as you shake your head. “I should be the one apologizing to you, berating you that way in front of everyone. You have been a wonderful father to Loki. No parent is perfect,” you whisper, shaking your head.

As the two of you stand there, hand in hand as you take a deep breath, you roll your shoulders back as you sigh.

“Either way, It’s in the past, Allfather,” you say. 

“Odin,” he corrects, “If you can call my wife by her name, then you shall do the same for me.” 

“I shall try,” you respond playfully. 

“Have you thought any more on the proposal I sent your way yesterday?” he asks as his face gets stern. 

“Well…since I do not look kindly on polygamy…” you trail off, leaning in and cocking your eyebrow playfully as Odin chuckles.

“A Guardian needs a proper home,” he says as he looks in to your eyes, “Somewhere that they feel comfortable, and accepted,” he says as he wraps your arm around his, turning the two of you towards the door.

“It would be an honor for you to call Asgard home, you know,” he says with an air of pride in his voice. 

Feeling the tears prickle the back of your eyes, you walk with him in to the hallway as you stop abruptly, turning to him as sad smile crossing your face. 

“But Loki…” you drift off. 

“…is the one who suggested it to that morning,” Odin interjects, bringing his hand to your cheek as he wipes away a stray tear. 

“What?” you ask breathlessly. 

“Just because my son is a stubborn frost giant, does not mean that his heart hasn’t been thawed,” Odin smiles. 

“I know he has been distant,” he says as he searches your eyes, continuing slowly down the hallway, “But that does not mean that he does not care. He knows, deep down, that what happened was just one unfortunate incident after the next, born out of a desperate need to be your best for him,” he says. 

“I miss him,” you admit. 

“I know, my child,” he says as the two of you stop just shy of the Grand Hall.

Feeling your body begin to shake, you take a few shallow breaths before you feel Odin pat the top your hand in reassurance. 

“You are not alone,” he says lowly, his voice ricocheting through your body as you nod and take a deep breath, rolling your shoulders back once more. 

And as Odin nods to the door attendant, he swings the door for you both, putting a horn to his mouth as he roars your introduction to the party. 

“I now pronounce to you, arriving at 5:06 in the early evening, Miss Guardian Angel and her escort, Odin, King of Asgard!”


	13. It's Time

As the crowd turns and applauds the both of you, Odin hikes his hand over his head and waves graciously, smiling as you walk alongside him, your breath coming in shallow puffs as you look around the room.

You realize that the exits to the outside were covered in a thick, white curtain.

Sighing as you shake your head, guilt starts to waft into your system as you realize the painstaking lengths this kingdom had gone to in order to make your birthday not only special, but on your own time.

Feeling someone take your arm and yank you to the floor, you look up with wide eyes as you see Sif, smiling from ear to ear, dragging you to the dance floor as the music cues up.

“It is time you smiled,” she says, twisting your arms as you start to laugh at her effort.

“You are insane,” you say, shaking your head as you start to bob your hips.

“Only when around you,” she says as she winks, throwing her hands up in the air as she dances around with you, the music drowning out, if only for a second, the reality of what this celebration really meant.

“May I cut in?”

Stopping in your tracks as you hear his voice, your eyes widen as you slowly turn towards him, his body standing tall as your neck careens all the way back to take him in.

“Of course,” you hear Sif say behind you, her hand patting your shoulder before walking away…probably to go and find Thor.

As he offers his hand for you to dance as the music slowly switches over to a ballad, you slide your hand tentatively in to his as he holds it up in the air, slipping his free arm around your waist as he pulls you close.

“Loki, I-”

“Shh shh shh,” he says, his lips puckering out as he looks over your shoulder, “Just dance.”

Swaying back and forth, your heart beat racing as he carries you across the floor, the song slowly comes to an end and, as he lets you go, you instinctively curtsy to him as he bows back.

Watching him as his gaze comes back up, you contain yourself no longer.

“I am so sorry,” you blurt out, reaching for his hand, “...for everything. For the lies, and the cover ups, and the inability to cave to your needs, a-a-and the withholding of the truth, and the lack of trust and respect and-”

Feeling his fingers press lightly against your lips, you look up at him as he furrows his brow, his lips pressed in to a tight line as he starts to talk.

“I cannot say that I am not still upset. More so because of fooling myself in to thinking that you trusted me,” he says.

“But I do-”

“Shh shh shh,” he says again, his eyes getting stern as tears well behind yours.

“Please stay,” he whispers.

Furrowing your brow as you cock your head, a tear escapes down your cheek as he uses his thumb to slowly wipe it away.

“If you stay here, and make Asgard your home, we could attempt again to rekindle what I thought we had before,” he says, barely above a whisper.

Shaking your head incredulously, you swat his hand from your lips as your eyes grow wild.

“You mistake what you think is my inability to trust you with my actual inability to open up to those I feel most vulnerable to.”

As Loki stares down at you, his brow slowly unfurrowing as his face goes blank, you take his hand in yours as you continue.

“You set aflame in me something that I have never felt. A want…no, a need…an absolute need…to be around you. Whenever you are not around, my heart aches for you. Whenever you are near, my soul swells with joy. And when you are angry with me…”

As you drift off, blinking back tears, you feel Loki squeeze your hand as he continues to stare at you, his eyes wildly searching your face.

“But I did not think that you wanted me to open up. I was never able to separate myself from Earth’s definition of concubine so that I could adopt this new idea of the same word. It is my fault that we are in this situation, but it is not because I don’t trust you. It is because I was unable to adapt to my surroundings.”

As you look back up at Loki’s face, his eyes darting from your gaze to your lips, you feel him wrap his arms around you as he pulls you close.

“I am sorry that we have ended up here,” he murmurs lowly.

“And I am sorry that I have made you feel a way that I wished to have never made you feel. All I ever wanted to do, besides be the best version of myself possible for you, was to make you feel my love.”

Feeling his lips press deeply into the top of your head, his hand slowly rubbing up and down your back, he dips his lips low in to your ear.

“This dress is stunning on you.”

And as you part from his grasp, raising your gaze to hold his beautiful eyes, you flash a light smile as you say, “I kind of miss the green.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mingling with the guests as you nurse a glass of cider, you feel a cold sensation slowly drift up your spine.

Taking in a slow, deep breath, you nonchalantly glance around the room as your pupils begin to dilate.

Something isn't right.

Squinting your eyes as you take a deep breath, you walk off into the dark corner, a mirrored version of yourself continuing to stand and sip on a glass of cider, as you slowly slip out of the Grand Hall and dash down the hallway. 

But not before Sif catches you and darts across the room. 

Running down the stairs as you exit the castle, you rush out on to the bifrost as your dress bellows behind you, your body beginning to churn with anticipation as you see the all-too-familiar yellow glints getting brighter in the distance.

Straining as your legs carry you as fast as you can go, your heart sinks as you happen upon Heimdall's scepter laying on the ground...with him nowhere to be seen. 

Panting for air as you hastily look around, you take in a long draw through your nose, choking on the strong scent of mint and smoke as your eyes widen.

Oh, no. 

"Heimdall!" you yell, your voice ricocheting through the cosmos as you strain to listen for his voice. 

Panicking, you turn and run back out on to the lavish rainbow road, your heart pounding as you look up to the balcony of the Grand Hall. 

Watching as people start to scatter, you see Thor dash out on to the balcony and wrap his hands around his mouth. 

"FATHER!!" 

Feeling your lips tremble, the full plan of diversion filling your mind, you now know that in order to save the King...and Heimdall...you would have to embrace what would be the defining moment of the rest of your elongated existence. 

"Angel!" 

Looking up through misty eyes, you see Sif running towards you, her sword at her side as her eyes grow wild. 

"The King is gone. H-he...he just...vanished," she exclaims breathlessly. 

Nodding slowly as you turn out towards the universes, you watch as the glints slowly turn in to separate strands of light, each floating in the aethers, waiting for you to outstretch your arms. 

And as you slowly take Sif's hand in yours, her fingers resting solidly on the back of your hand, you take a step forward as your walk turns into a trot, giving way to a run as you dash towards the edge of the bifrost...and, wrapping your arms around Sif as you jump, you throw yourselves at the mercy of the universe as the yellow strands of energy dash after your plummeting bodies, with Thor and Loki running to the edge, screaming your names in the background as Asgard quickly falls from your vision.


	14. Back Versus Life

As the universe fills itself with darkness, your heart racing as Sif clings to your body for dear life, you feel a warm sensation enveloping your leg as the two of you come to an abrupt stop, your hand clinging to Sif’s wrist so as to stop her falling body from breaking away.

“What’s happening, Angel!?” she yells as you as the strings of yellow light wrap around her waist.

“Just close your eyes and take a deep breath,” you say, tears welling in your eyes as your yellow, glowing saviors wrap themselves around your wrists and ankles, setting the two of you upright as they slowly envelope your appendages in a glowing, warm bundle.

As Sif’s wild eyes look around her body, floating amidst the darkened realm as the stars twinkle in the background, you feel a piercing sensation in your abdomen as you rear your head back, crying out as a burst of light tears through your chest, emanating towards Sif as you hear your friend roar at you in pain.

“Deep...breaths...” you choke out before your vision is overtaken with light, your arms and legs throbbing as you feel your joints being stretched, your spine being realigned...your eyes flashing colors and your bones reinforcing.

It was the most intense pain you had ever experienced in your life.

Feeling the light cascade through your body, you feel yourself drifting up, moving faster and faster, until your skin is ripping from your body, reassembling itself as it removes your scars and your blemishes, smoothing out your Y/C/S skin as you come to a complete stop, hovering in mid-air as your dress flutters around you, your arms drooping at your sides as you lay on your back, floating in the air with Sif right beside you.

As tears flow down the side of your face, you tilt your head, a sparkling white substance where the blood of your body should be drips from your nose and ears as you look upon Asgard, with Thor and Loki standing at the edge, gawking at your form as you feel something begin to emerge from your back.

Feeling your skin ripping and tearing, the deafening sound of every cell splitting itself in half, you cry out in pain as your wings slowly push forth, your back giving birth to your beautiful plum of feathers as they stretch out, your white and golden wings fluttering in the wind as the light slowly fades from your body, your breath coming in short spurts as you feel the last of your reinforcement taking place, the marrow in your bones hardening in to steel as your wings work to tilt you forward.

Opening your eyes as you take in the sight, you look beside you to Sif as you extend your arm out, a white string of light emerging from the palm of your hand as it slowly wraps around Sif’s waist, pulling her toward you as you wrap your arms around her, your cheeks pressing together as you both heave for air.

Clinging on to each other, your chest starts to burn with an intense heat as a clear white pearl, in the shape of a diamond, sears itself in to your skin as your future finishes it’s final mark on your transformation.

“Warrior,” you breathe in to her ear, her hair streaked with white as her eyes grow wild with pain.

“What...is happening...?” she grunts.

“Your bones are reinforcing. Your marrow is turning to steel, so that you may withstand the battles and wars that we thrust ourselves in to for the sake of the safety of the universe.”

Watching as tears crest her eyes, her head lobs back as she screams out, Thor twisting his hammer as he lifts himself off of the ground, only to careen in to a shield that presents itself with a thud as he tries to get to Sif.

“Just breathe,” you whisper as you feel her body go limp in your hands.

“Just a little while longer,” you choke out as glistening tears stream down your face.

As the light from your chest starts to dim, bringing your energy level back up, you feel Sif’s muscles twitch in your grasp as her head finally sits up.

“I’ve kept you from Thor long enough,” you smile weakly, extending your hand as your palm of light slowly guides her back to the bifrost, with Thor standing there in awe and curiosity as Sif stands strong and proud.

You watch with a smile on your face as Thor reaches out to finger her white highlights that glisten against the background of stars.

Her beauty was captivating to you.

And that is when your gaze falls haphazardly on a wide-eyed Loki.

Turning your chest towards him, you throw your head back as a stream of light shoots from your chest, careening in to his abdomen as he screams out in pain, his body being lifted and slowly brought to yours.

“Brother!” Thor cries out as his hand outstretches for his.

“No!” Sif yells, knocking Thor’s hand out of the way as his eyes widen at her strength.

Feeling Loki slowly press against your body, you wrap your arms around his waist as you raise your head up to his, your lips finding his ear as you start to whisper.

“I want you to be my healer,” you say.

Hearing Loki scoff, you blink back tears as you swallow hard.

“Yes, I made Sif my warrior,” you grunt, the pain beginning to rise in your throat again, “...because I trust her with my defense. I trust that, on or off of the battlefield, she has my back,” you say, barely above a whisper as tears trickle down your cheeks, glistening in the light as you raise your gaze once again to meet Loki’s eyes.

“But I trust you with my life,” you whisper.

As his eyes flicker down towards yours, widening at your statement, a grin plays lightly on your cheeks as you continue, a white light slowly enveloping Loki from his feet up.

“A healer is not just someone who stands on the edge of a battle muttering incantations as the Guardian and Warrior fight for the realms. A healer, if he or she wants, goes in to battle with us, and is the only one that can heal us from catastrophic wounds. Wounds that would otherwise kill us,” you say.

Panting as you feel the energy leaving your body, Loki wraps his arms around your waist, holding you up as his hand brings your head slowly back to the side of his.

“I trust Sif with my back,” you whisper in to his ear, “...but I trust you with my life.”

Feeling a tear ricochet down Loki’s cheek and descend on to your face, he nods his head against yours as you smile, letting out a ragged breath as you open your mouth.

“Take a deep breath,” you breathe.

Throwing him away from your body, you lob your head back again as a light bursts forth from the diamond in your chest, impaling him in his stomach as he cries out in pain, his body flooding itself with warmth and ice, all at the same time, as your healing power transfers from yourself to him, his eyes wide with pain as his body curls in on itself.

“Just a little bit longer,” you choke out, your body shaking from the energy as you let out a roar, fire bursting from your lips as you encompass Loki’s body, his entire being soaking up the opposite of what he is so used to becoming as his screams turn to laughter.

Closing your mouth as you stare at him weakly, a smile crossing his face as he looks upon his hands in wonder, you watch as the color of his eyes settle back into the blueish-green that you so desperately desire...a long, bold streak of white cascading down his hair, fluttering to his shoulder as you begin to plummet back to the bifrost.

“Y/N!” Loki shouts, hurling his body to you as he catches you around your waist, working himself in front of you as you both crash to the ground, Sif and Thor running with the guards behind them as you lay on Loki’s body, groaning as your eyes flutter in and out of their hoods.

“Y/N,” Loki says again, scurrying himself on to his knees as he takes your face in his hands.

“What do I do?” he whispers.

Too weak to give him an answer, he looks towards Sif and roars, “What do I do!?!?!?”

As tears rise in both Sif and Thor’s eyes, you weakly raise your hand, searching for his and he presses his palm to yours, bringing it to his lips as he kisses your fingers lightly.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whimpers.

Breathing raggedly, your lips chapped and bleeding as you lay on the ground, you hear a cry off in the distance.

“Angel!!”

Heimdall.

As Loki and Sif dart their heads towards the cry, Thor comes over and helps you up, your body sitting upright as your head spins.

“Loki...” you breathe, reaching for his hand again as his attention turns from Heimdall’s cries to your limp body.

“Take...a deep...breath...” you pant.

As Loki inhales through his nose, flashes of pink sputtering from his palms, he brings his glowing hands to your face as his lips descend on to yours, his tongue parting your dry lips as he runs it along the roof of your mouth, coating your cotton skin in his sweet saliva as he kisses you deeply, running his tongue along the insides of your cheeks as he sucks your lower lip in.

And as a pink hue drips on to your body, you feel the energy slowly surging back into your newly repaired muscles as your hand slowly finds its way in to Loki’s hair, pulling him closer as his arms drop from your face to your waist as he pulls your body flush against his...your heart rate finally steadying as your wings find life.


	15. The Evil Beneath

Panting for breath as you break the kiss, you cup Loki’s cheek as he smiles at you broadly.

“You look…beautiful,” he breathes, shaking his head as he helps you up.

Nodding lightly at him, you look towards Sif, a grand smile on her face as you hear Heimdall’s call once again.

“Angel, please!”

Whipping your head towards the sound, Thor looks at you with wild eyes.

“What do we do, Angel?”

Furrowing your brow as you turn your head back to him, you outstretch your wings as you see an army of misfits rise from the universe, chanting and guffawing as they charge you on their hover-crafts.

“Run!” you pull Thor’s arm as Sif turns towards the fighters, throwing her sword into their engines as they go careening in to the water.

Grabbing Loki’s hand as you run back towards the castle, you throw the both of them in to the hallway as you look at Thor and say, “You need to assemble guards at every entrance and exit. I have no idea why they have taken your father and Heimdall hostage, but if they get to your little treasure trove under this castle…”

Nodding his head, he turns his back, his cape flowing behind him as he starts calling out orders, Fandral dashing up behind him as he sneaks another peak of you before rounding the corner and out of sight.

“What do I do?” Loki asks, taking your hand and turning you towards him.

“Follow me,” you say.

Getting a running start, you jump over the edge of the bifrost, balling your hands in to a fist as you throw your hands out in front of you, balls of ice projecting themselves from your palms as you ice skate around the edge of Asgard.

“Loki!?” you call back behind you, hearing his laughter as he answers, “I’m right behind you! Sif is still dealing with the hover army!”

Nodding as you smile lightly, you continue to plummet ice bunches out of your hands, providing an alley for you to skate on as you round yourself in to the forest, skating off and dropping on to the ground as Loki lands directly behind you.

Hearing grunting as you step forward, you listen as you pause in place.

Feeling Loki’s hand grasp your shoulder, you shoot him a look as his eyes glow orange.

“It’s a trap,” he murmurs.

“What?” you ask, turning your body towards him.

“It’s a trap!” he yells, wrapping his arms around your body as the two of you throw yourselves to the side, the ground parting, threatening to swallow you whole as demons and rock giants crawl out of the cavern in the ground.

Scrambling to get to your feet, your eyes start to glow green, the veins in your body protruding with the color of the forest as your wings lift you off of the ground, a roar emanating from your throat as your claw-like talons for fingers rise above your head, vines and trees growing in the background as they hover behind you, threatening to impale the army below as you take a deep breath, quelling the rage in your body.

“I will give you one chance…” you mutter as Loki looks up, his body glowing pink at the ready.

Watching as small smiles crease the faces of all who make up the army below, you cock your head to the side, your neck cracking as a menacing smile crosses your cheeks.

“I thought so,” you say.

Careening your hands forward as your body concaves in on itself, the vines and trees barrel themselves to the ground, impaling the bodies of the army as Loki jumps from vine to vine, making his way up to you as he watches from on high.

As trees smash them dead and vines rip themselves down their throats, Loki jumps as grabs your leg, clamoring up your body as he wraps his arms around your neck, pulling his lips up to your ear as he whispers…

“Take a deep breath, Y/N.”

Hearing his voice off in the distance, your consciousness clouded with rage and anger, you find yourself taking in a deep breath through your mouth as the army falls to your feet, gurgling on their own blood and choking on the vines of the forest as the two of you slowly lower to the ground, watching as the life rushes back to you and out of them.

Staring wide-eyed all around you, tears prickling the back of your eyes, you feel Loki try to slip his hand in yours comfortingly as you hear Heimdall call out again.

“Come on,” you say lowly, wrenching his hand as your body careens forward, your wings lifting you both off of the ground as you glide over the forest top.

“There!” Loki shouts as a cabin comes in to view.

Landing solidly on the ground, Loki’s hands balled in to fists as you slowly approach the door, the ground beneath you opens up, swallowing you whole as Loki tries to jump after you, but is caught around his neck by a guard.

“Y/N!” he yells out just as the cavern closes, leaving you plummeting in the dark of night as your body hits the ground unmercifully.

“Angel? Is that you?”

Odin.

Lifting your head as you squint to try and see, Odin’s outline slowly comes in to view, the King bent over at his waist.

“Odin,” you croak out, reaching for him as your entire body zaps with electricity.

Hissing as you fly back, your body careening into a rock quarry, you hear a thunderous laughter rumble the room as the ground shakes.

“You know…your father was always one to play the hero,” the voice says.

Feeling your jaw tense as your teeth clench together, a light suddenly appears above Odin as your jaw stands agape, his nose crooked from being broken, his mouth bleeding from his obvious beating, and the bruises many as he stays shackled to the wall, tugging and pulling as he tries to get free.

“Odin and I had a wonderful little talk…” the voice says.

“Angel…I am so sorry…” Odin says.

Furrowing your brow at all of the confusion, the voice laughs once again as you stand to your feet.

“You still deny, after all of these years, the evil that exists beneath the threads of the universe.”

Feeling your blood run cold, you realize who you are talking to.

The entity who ruined your life.

The man who killed your father.

“He tried his hardest, but when he figured out my plan, he impaled himself on his own sword,” the voice rings out, reading your mind’s eye as you whip around, trying to get a glimpse of it’s physical form.

Feeling your fists ball up, fire slowly encompassing them, you see a shadowy figure move in your peripheral.

“I chained him up and filled him with my beautiful essence,” he hisses as you watch sinewy black tentacles slowly dance around you.

“His eyes grew wide with black as he smiled, you know. He enjoyed how good evil felt coursing through his veins,” he growls.

As you eye the tentacles hesitantly, you stand your ground as your eyes search the room.

“Hard to believe from a voice with no body,” you call out.

Watching as the tentacles relapse from your view, the room goes black again as Odin cries out, a red hue emanating from the corner as a body, tall and strong, emerges into the light.

“When he found out that I was really after his daughter…that’s when he fought back,” he voice says, hissing with laughter as the glowing red eyes that you remembered seeing in your father as a child catch your breath in your throat, your mind recalling all of the fights and beatings and treacherous moments where his anger would get the best of him.

And always…those eyes.

“You…you were…”

Feeling your body stumble, the entity walks forward, his hand outstretching as you dodge his grasp, running up towards Odin as you stand beside him, eyeing the shackles tying him to the wall.

“Your father died long before he threw himself on that sword,” the energy says.

“Why me?” you ask, lifting Odin’s head as you inspect the damage that has been inflicted, opening his swollen eyes and breathing a sigh of relief as you see his beautiful browns instead of those horrible reds.

“Why does any person want to inflict damage on any other?” the entity questions.

“Because it’s fun,” he yells as he charges you.

“Angel, look out!” Odin screams as he tries to throw himself in front of you.

Standing to your feet as you hold your arms out, you squeeze your eyes shut as you puff your chest out, the diamond in your chest opening up as the darkness is willingly sucked in to your body, your eyes flickering colors as they settle on red as your veins protrude from every nook and cranny on your body, your blood running the color of the darkest night as his voice rings inside your head.

“A willing subject…how interesting.”

Watching as the ceiling above you opens up, giving way to the stars of the Asgardian realm, you contort your body to look down at Odin, his eyes filled with tears as your eyes grow red with anger.

“I am so very sorry, my child,” he whispers as tears run down his face.

Swallowing hard as your body fights not to give over, you clutch on to Odin’s collar as your eyes, for a brief second, flicker back over to Y/C/E.

“Hang on,” you say.

And as you pull on Odin’s chains, ripping them right from the wall of rock, he screams out in agony as you throw yourself in to the air, rushing towards the open sky as you careen out of the hole in the ground.

Leveling out, you wrap Odin around, his body falling on to your back as the dark ooze pours out of every hole in your body.

“Hang on,” you whisper, your body giving way to it’s rage as your eyes switch back over to red, your laugh maniacal as you dive and dart through the air, your body fighting between the light and the dark as you make your way towards the castle.


	16. Humble

Barreling through the balcony of the Grand Hall, the guards standing agape as they watch you dip and dart, you sling Odin from your back as he holds on to your wing, your feather-like extension taking on a life of its own as it slowly lowers him to the ground.

Plummeting into a marble column, your arm shattering as you howl in pain, your body bounces on the ground as you growl and hiss, your eyes flickering colors as Thor dashes to your side.

“Angel,” he says, his brow furrowing when he sees your glowing red eyes.

“Thor,” you growl, thrusting your hand out as you take him by the neck, raising him off of his feet as your wings slowly lift you into mid-air.

“King,” you emphasize, your head cocking to the left as your shattered arm sways, bleeding and contorted at your side.

“Angel,” he chokes out, his eyes wide as he brings his shaking arm out and rests it on your shoulder.

“Take…a deep…breath…”

Watching as he goes limp in your grasp, you snort as you laugh, your lips twisting into a maniacal grin as you drop him to the floor.

“Ooooooooo,” you say, wiggling your eyebrows as you shimmy, “I feel all tiiiiiingly!”

Hearing footsteps running down the hallway, you hear him call out for you.

“Y/N!”

Loki.

“Y/N!!!”

Rounding the corner as he sees Thor laying on the floor, his father curled up in the corner as he winces and pants for breath, you smile at him as you slowly land your feet upon the ground, your hips swaying as you saunter forward, your haggard arm ricocheting pain through your body as you catch Loki’s worried stare.

“Y/N…” he says, reaching his hand out as he fingers the side of your eye, your red eyes glowing bright as you search his.

“I don’t know why I never caved to you sooner,” you say lowly, your eyebrow raising in the air as you slowly assess his stance, “Because you…are…luscious.”

Licking your lips as you find his gaze again, his brow furrowed as he shakes his head, you feel someone take your good hand as you slowly look over.

“My Angel,” Sif says, “What has happened to you?”

“What has happened?” you chuckle, your voice breathless as you look upon her incredulously, “Why, my darling Sif…I’ve been reborn!”

Holding your arms out as you twirl slowly for them, you feel Loki’s eyes on you as you whip back around to him, your eyes wild with passion as you leap forward, your tongue thrusting from your lips as you slowly lick his cheek.

Feeling him push you off, his hands forceful as he recoils at your warmth, you furrow your brow as your eyes grow dim, a strong sadness overcoming you before you lash out, outstretching your palm as a red string of light rockets from your hand, latching on to his neck as you hurl him in to the air.

“YOU WILL LOVE ME!!” you yell out to him, his arms and legs thrashing about as your voice booms across the room.

“And for once, you will know what it is like to be treated as a servant…as one who is required to do service…as one who will always be expected to bend to the will of others.”

Lifting off of the ground, your body slowly approaching Loki’s as his eyes widen, the blood vessels behind his eyes start to burst from his lack of oxygen as the white in his eyes is swallowed by the same red glowing within yours…his arms desperately reaching out to you in an attempt to quell your anger.

“Y/N…please…” he chokes out.

“Y/N…please…” you mock, your face contorting as you stare at his dying eyes.

“She’s long gone,” you hiss, shaking your head as you thrust your face in to his…mere millimeters from his lips, “And soon, you will finally feel what she has wished to feel for all of her life.”

Watching Loki’s eyes widen, his outstretched hand finally catches your bare skin, his hand glowing pink as tears stream down his cheeks.

“You…cannot…have her…” he chokes out as your head thrusts back, a drone emanating from your mouth as your body is overcome with pink, the red beam of light retracting from Loki as he plummets to the ground…his pink beam following him as it cushions his fall.

Feeling a searing pain in your throat, tears of black stream down your face as the pink tendrils from Loki’s body impede every orifice, encompassing the black tendrils from your body attempting, and failing, to fight back.

Your breath coming in shallow pants as you feel the last of the ooze drip from your nose, you look on with misty eyes as the pink from Loki’s hands slowly encompass the black evil that had been thrust upon you since before your transformation, your body going limp in the air as you feel someone’s arms around you.

“I’ve got you,” you hear Thor mutter in your ear.

And as you watch the entangling energies slowly grow smaller, your body being dragged back to the floor, tears of white fall upon your cheeks as your eyes roll in to the back of your head, the darkness of night encompassing you once more as the warmth of Loki’s energy comes to a screeching halt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Throwing your eyes open with a start, your body covered in sweat as you shoot up off of the floor, you feel a pair of strong hands on your shoulders as you hear Sif shushing you close in your ear.

“It’s alright,” she says, her voice soothing and soft, “You are safe, Angel.”

Grabbing the hand on your shoulder, your shattered arm working once more, you throw your gaze over at Loki, his eyes filled with relief and happiness.

“I didn’t think I had gotten to you in time,” he says softly, his hand moving the hair from your face as you pull yourself quickly to your feet.

“Odin!” you scream out, your body stumbling forward as you look towards the corner you could have sworn you had left him in.

“Odin! Heimdall!” you yell out, spinning around as your head begins to pound, the toll of the day finally taking hold as aches and pains slowly begin to settle in your joints.

“My King!” you roar, your body giving way as you collapse on the floor, Loki running to your side as he picks you up quickly in his arms.

“It’s alright, my love,” he says through misty eyes, “They are alright. You are alright. The kingdom is safe…and I am here.”

As the reality of the day fully sinks in, you lay your head weakly onto Loki’s chest, the rising and falling of his breath comforting you as he turns around to Thor and Sif, their glances worried as he slowly walks towards them.

“I am returning her to her quarters,” he says.

“That is probably a good idea,” Thor says, half-smiling as his eyes gaze wearily onto your body.

“I…I am s-so-”

And as you feel a pair of lips press lightly against your temple, you find Sif’s lips close to your ear as she whispers, “Apologies already accepted, my friend. Now get some rest.”


	17. Take A Deep Breath

Feeling your eyes flutter open as the morning sun cascades through your sheer white curtains, you suck in a deep breath as you turn over, squinting your eyes at the figure by your bed.

Reaching your hand out as you grace his, you hear him jump as you watch his eyes fly open.

“Y/N...” Loki says, taking your hand within his as he brings his face down to kiss your fingers, “Oh, my jotuns, Y/N...”

Feeling the tears already prickling the back of your eyes, your tired Y/C/E eyes give way to your tears as Loki leans in, shushing you lightly in your ear as he brushes your hair away from your face.

“Ssshhh sh sh sh...it’s alright. You are safe,” he coos.

“I am so sorry,” you choke out, shaking your head back and forth on your pillow as the tears flow freely, “Oh my god...your neck.”

As your gaze land on his bare skin, your eyes searching for any marks or bruising, you reach your hand up to brush his skin as he shudders lightly at your touch.

“Please forgive me,” you whisper, your chest swallowing your sobs as his eyes search yours.

“Always,” he says lowly, his eyes kind as a smile crosses his cheeks.

Laying your head back on your pillow with relief, you groan as you try to move, the pain from your transformation sticking around longer than you had anticipated.

Hearing Loki move from his seat, his footsteps grow dim as you hear your door open.

Clutching your comforter close to you as you prepare for the inevitable loneliness...you jump as Loki calls out down the hallway.

“She is awake, everyone!”

Hearing quick footsteps rush down the hallway, your brow furrows as you turn your head, Loki smiling at you as he walks back and takes his seat in the chair next to your bed.

All of a sudden, Sif, Thor, Odin and Frigga round the corner in to your room, dashing to your side as Sif reaches out for your hand.

Feeling the corners of your mouth twitch as Loki helps you to sit up in bed, you wince as he props you up with your pillows, everyone sitting on the outer perimeter of your bed, there bodies still in the hopes of not toggling you.

“You look well,” Sif says, her hand squeezing yours lightly as Frigga reaches out to pat your leg lightly.

“And strong,” Thor says proudly, his chest puffing out as you giggle and shake your head.

“How are you feeling?” Frigga asks, her voice light as her hand resting on your thigh.

“How long have I been asleep?” you ask incredulously.

“Uh...” Loki says, leaning in to your ear with a weary expression, “3 days.”

“3 days!?” you exclaim, wincing as your body involuntarily jumps at the piece of information.

“Yes,” Odin says, chuckling as he finds your gaze, “And it has been well earned.”

“Well there are certainly better things I could have done with that time...more productive things,” you linger, your eyes shooting over to Loki who does nothing but shrug playfully.

“If you are going to assist the universe in its chaos,” Odin declares, standing to his feet and walking to your side, “Then you need to rest when necessary, Angel.”

Nodding slowly as you sigh, leaning back in to your pillows, your eyes grow misty again as you raise them to Thor’s.

“Thor,” you choke out, your head shaking as your hands begin to tremble.

“There is nothing to forgive,” he says, smiling kindly as he bends over your body, covering both of your hands in his.

“But you...a-a-and Odin-”

“Sssshhhh...” Odin says, his lips lightly puckered as he sits by the head of your bed, “You single-handedly took on the evil that took your father’s life. That is nothing to be sorry for.”

“But I-”

“I will hear no more of it,” Odin interrupts, his gaze becoming stern as his tone of voice falls deep.

“Yes, sir,” you say, your voice light and your eyes relieved.

“Well, when you are feeling better,” Odin says as he gets up, “There is a gate keeper wishing to give you his thanks.”

“I will keep that in mind,” you say, a smile sneaking its way on to your face as everyone gets up to follow Odin.

Everyone...except Loki.

Watching as Odin holds the door for everyone, ushering them out as they take one last look at you over their shoulder, he stops mid-way as he turns, his voice booming out over the room.

“Oh, and Angel?” he asks.

“Yes?” you say, yawning as you start to dip back down in between the sheets.

“You have beautiful Y/C/E eyes.”

“Thank you, Odin,” you say, your smile beaming under the sheets as you feel Loki tuck you in, his body shielding you from the door as he wraps his arm around you, his clothed body laying beside you as his lips find your ear.

“I’ll be here when you awaken,” he murmurs.

“Promise?” you ask.

“Promise,” he reassures, hunkering down beside you as you press your body back in to his.

And as you feel his hand drift slowly down your arm, his fingers finding yours as your they slowly intertwine, you close your eyes as you focus on the rhythm of his heart beat pulsating between your shoulder blades as the song of his heart stabilizes your ragged breathing as Loki’s lips find your ear.

“Now,” he breathes, “...take a deep breath.”


	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning for this chapter.

Feeling his hands slowly graze down your back, his fingertips trailing over the thin lines on either side of your spine, you feel the energy of your wings twitch underneath your skin as he sucks your earlobe between his beautiful teeth.

It had been 80 years since your transformation. You found out very quickly, through the education of your other guardians, that whomever you chose to partner with, that was the lifespan that your body would adhere to.

You had chosen to partner with Asgardians, so an Asgardian way of aging was what your body took on.

Sighing as he bites down playfully, your lips placing ghostly kisses on his cheek as his nips and bites make their way slowly down your neck, you lob your head off to the side as a light groan escapes from your throat.

Feeling him breathe against your skin was mesmerizing.

It had been 80 years since your transformation, and for 73 of those you had been married to Loki.

Feeling your fingertips dig into his upper arms, his muscles flexing with every breath that falls upon his neck, he rakes his teeth down your shoulder, stopping just shy of your breasts as your torso leans back, your body arching to be closer to his.

“You are intoxicating,” he breathes against your flushing neck.

You, Loki, and Sif had traveled the realms…fighting battles, waging wars, and fixing problems…and always returning to Asgard with Thor waiting anxiously for your return.

You always made sure the Allmother was returned safely to her King.

Feeling Loki’s hand wrap tightly around your waist, your dress slipping off of your shoulders as your puckered breasts free themselves from the thin cloth, he strides across the bedroom, tumbling with you on to the bed as you lock your eyes with his, your lips parting to mutter an enchantment of his liking.

He loved it when you duplicated yourself in bed.

“No,” he whispers, pressing his fingers lightly against your lips.

Furrowing your brow as you kiss the tips of his fingers, he leans forward and kisses your forehead, your heart racing as he lingers, his pelvis straddling you as your back begins to roar and pulsate.

“Just me and you…no one else.”

“But-”

“Ssshh,” he coos, trailing feather-like kisses down to the tip of your nose, his eyes smiling as he envelopes your lips in a passionate kiss.

“I want to hear only you tonight,” he whispers.

Feeling your body tremble beneath him, your hands grip the sheets beside you as you feel his warm, strong hands slide down your neck, stopping at your chest as he takes a breast in each hand, his body sliding down yours as he slowly drops his warm lips around your large, puckered nipple.

And all the while, your wings were trying to break free.

You had found out that you were very much in control of your reproductive system. It was quite simple: if your wings were tucked away, there was no pregnancy whatsoever. However, if your wings were spread, pregnancy was guaranteed.

It saved you a lot of headache with Asgardian birth control.

But over the course of the past couple of decades, Loki watched as his brother gave birth to his first child: a daughter, whom they named Valda. And as he watched his brother throw his daughter in the air and run with her in the gardens, you could see the longing in his eyes…the need for fatherhood pulsating with every cell in his body.

But he never once brought the subject of children up to you, knowing that you were hesitant to bring them in to the world.

You had to have a child eventually. You needed an heir to the guardianship whenever this life finally took you. But the pain you’ve experienced and the bloodshed you have seen…

It curled your stomach to know your firstborn would eventually lead this same life.

But as you feel Loki’s lips release your nipple with a pop, drifting over to the other one as he lightly grazes his teeth over it, your back arches off of the bed as you groan, your breath hitching as you feel his lips smile, his body grinding in to you as he presses his nose into your voluptuous breast.

…you realized that you were also robbing your child of the beauty that he or she would encounter as well. The beauty of being raised by a wonderful man. The beauty of falling in love with your soulmate. The beauty of having a family of their own…

“Loki,” you breathe, his tongue working around your lonely nipple as your body begins to tremble at his wake.

“Yes, my pet?” he mumbles, the vibrations making you draw a ragged breath as the wetness grows in between your legs.

“I…I uh…”

Hearing him chuckle lowly at your speechlessness, he begins to trail his fingertips down your sides, your body aching and twitching as he kisses and nips down your torso, your core jumping with every touch as you feel your insides heating up.

“You what?” he growls, his breath hot on your trove as you let out a ragged breath.

“I’m ready,” you whisper.

Feeling him stop suddenly, you lift your head to catch his gaze, your eyes half-hooded as he stares at you incredulously

“Y-…you what?” he stammers.

“I’m ready,” you repeat, finding your voice as a small grin breaks out on your face.

Watching as a smile covers his cheeks, he lunges back up to you, his lips crashing in to yours as his tongue prods its way in to your mouth, your teeth clattering as you rip at his clothes, desperate to get them off as you cast each piece to the floor, his hips grinding in to you as you work the button off of his pants.

Feeling his hands dip down to help as he shimmies his hips, your hands slowly slide up his muscular back, his muscles contracting with your soft touch as his mouth attaches to your neck, his teeth sucking in a bit of skin as you let out a soft moan, his name dripping from your lips as you let out a rather loud moan.

Feeling your wings slide out from behind you, outstretching themselves as he raises his gaze to yours, you see the tears of joy in his eyes as you smile lightly, using your thumb to lightly wipe them away.

“I love you so much, Y/N…” he says.

“And I love you,” you smile back.

Feeling his hips slowly gyrate in to yours, you lift your legs and wrap them around him as he reaches down, positioning himself between you as he looks back up at you once more.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes searching yours.

“You are going to be a wonderful father,” you whisper, grasping his face and pulling him in for a kiss as he thrusts his hips forward, your grunt being swallowed by Loki as he slowly starts to kiss down your cheek, his warm lips nuzzling themselves in to your neck.

Holding on to him as he pumps, his hips knocking you all the way back into the headboard of the bed, you run your fingers through his hair, grabbing a handful as your breath starts coming in short spurts.

Yanking his head around, you roll him over and sit him up, crashing his back in to the nook wall that your bed sat soundly in as you straddle his pelvis, your hips rolling back and forth as his eyes roll in to the back of his head as you plant your hands firmly on the wall as his fingertips dig in to your hips.

“Oh, gods…” he groans, his breath coming short and ragged as you bounce on his rock hard dick, harder and harder as your body starts to shudder, your wings outstretched as they flutter against the thrusts.

“Oh…oh god…oh…Loki,” you grunt, your teeth gritted as you feel your walls pulsating around him.

“I love your sounds,” he growls, his arms clenching around your waist as he whips you around, standing to his feet as your back collides with the wall, his arm holding you up as his other hand plants itself firmly to keep you two balanced.

Thrusting his hips in to you as your wings spread out along the wall, your body shivering and shuddering with pleasure as your moans and his grunts meld together in a chorus of love and lust, your fingertips bury deep in to his upper arms as you feel his muscles work for your pleasure, releasing and contracting with every movement as whimpers begin to escape your lips.

“Come for me,” he demands, his eyes growing dark as he eyes your bouncing breasts.

Breathing heavily as the sweat starts to slowly trickle down your neck, you open your eyes, locking your gaze on to his as you lean your forehead forward, your hand slowly slipping down to your slit as you feel your wetness covering your fingers.

Finding your sensitive mound, your fingers begin to encircle it.

“Ooooh, Loki…oh god…I love you, I love you, I love you, I lo-”

Throwing your head back into the wall as your core begins to contract, your swollen walls milking his dick, Loki throws his head back and yells out to the heavens as your name tumbles from his lips. As your body goes limp against the wall, his palms come thudding down beside your head as he thrusts a few more times, his sweating chest pressing deep in to yours as your body shakes with pleasure, your orgasm continuing to rack your body.

You didn’t realize extending your wings would enhance your orgasm.

Feeling him continuing to press against your body, your legs wrapped around his torso as he buries his face in to the crook of your neck, you feel him smile against your sweaty skin as he trails his cheek up to yours, nuzzling your flushed face as he pants lightly in your ear.

“And you are going to be a wonderful mother,” he murmurs.

Feeling your lower abdomen pulsate lightly, you feel Loki pull away from you, helping you slowly on to the bed from off of the wall as he lays beside you, his gaze on your stomach at it starts to lightly glow.

Watching as his fingers slowly drift along your torso, the glow slowly encompassing his fingers as they glide through the mist, you watch with a smile on your face as Loki whips his gaze up to yours, his eyes practically child-like with glee as he smiles broadly.

And as he leans in to your stomach, he kisses the glow, nuzzling your stomach with his nose as your heart begins to melt with pride, your hands slowly sinking down as you run your fingers through his hair tangled hair.

“I have loved you for two decades,” he murmurs to your stomach, “And I will love you for 200 more.”


End file.
